Tuesday, December 10, 2024
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The Exhausted Dad

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The Exhausted Dad: Babies make for conversation starters
December 7, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Babies make for conversation starters

Although I love my four kids at their current ages, I often reminisce longingly about their baby years. Sure, taking care of little children means long nights, hundreds of dirty diapers and constant fatigue, but look! CUTE BABY!

The Exhausted Dad: When illness reigns, attendance not required
November 30, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: When illness reigns, attendance not required

The judgmental automated voice from the school district keeps calling me.

The Exhausted Dad: When half the kids feels like a vacation
November 9, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: When half the kids feels like a vacation

Sometimes half the kids equals double the fun.

The Exhausted Dad: More running commentary from a reluctant runner
October 26, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: More running commentary from a reluctant runner

Cross country running makes its third appearance of the fall season in this column. Did someone recruit Bill Buley to write “The Exhausted Dad” or what?

The Exhausted Dad: A hard lesson about teens and technology
October 19, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A hard lesson about teens and technology

My 13-year-old daughter strongly believed she was the only kid in her entire middle school without a cell phone.

The Exhausted Dad: Cross country running: The great debate
September 28, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Cross country running: The great debate

My 9-year-old daughter earned the nickname Wild Card in her first year of life. She’s the kind of unpredictable who would cut the brakes of her own getaway car.

The Exhausted Dad: When desserts attack
September 7, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: When desserts attack

Allergies ruin delicious things.

The Exhausted Dad: Fears of the beach vary by family member
August 31, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Fears of the beach vary by family member

Everyone in my family enjoys our annual trips to the ocean.

The Exhausted Dad: Patience for young children and nobody else
August 10, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Patience for young children and nobody else

Like a 9-year-old Tommy Lee Jones, my daughter won’t sanction your buffoonery.

The Exhausted Dad: A Squishy family reunion
August 3, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A Squishy family reunion

Get ready for some family drama. My oldest son turned 11 last week. Prior to the birthday he made an exhaustive wish list for his parents’ buying consideration.

The Exhausted Dad: Anything, nothing and everything in between
July 27, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Anything, nothing and everything in between

Summers are obviously challenging for any family, especially with two working parents and kids who can’t quite stay home by themselves.

The Exhausted Dad: The final bike rider
July 13, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The final bike rider

Fun fact: Almost 65% of all commercials depicting parenthood feature images of a parent teaching a kid how to ride a bike.

The Exhausted Dad: Hearsay about summer camp and pink eye
July 6, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Hearsay about summer camp and pink eye

Not all the most interesting parenting stories happen to me. While my wife and I share many parenting adventures, sometimes we face challenges alone. Having four kids exacerbates the problem, as we’re often forced to split up to manage the busy schedule of adolescent extracurriculars. It means one parent occasionally misses something fun. But it also provides the chance of dodging unforeseen misery.

The Exhausted Dad: Road trip time checks – a failed experiment
June 1, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Road trip time checks – a failed experiment

All four of my kids understand time. Three of the four understand the concepts of time as much as any adult of normal intelligence… meaning they can easily follow the plotlines of “Back to the Future” and “Avengers: Endgame.” Get them in a car for a family road trip, however, and the kids suddenly lose all ability to process the passage of time.

The Exhausted Dad: Waiting on JV tennis
May 11, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Waiting on JV tennis

Some youth sports just aren’t meant for spectators.

The Exhausted Dad: Chatbot takes over the column
May 4, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Chatbot takes over the column

I’m looking for any extra few minutes I can get.

The Exhausted Dad: Election Day heartbreak
April 27, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Election Day heartbreak

My seventh grade daughter will try anything new. I don’t know where she gets the nerve to be a complete novice in front of her peers.

The Exhausted Dad: When you don’t move the headstones
April 20, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: When you don’t move the headstones

Kids are always listening. My 9-year-old daughter, it must be said, is turning into one of the cooler people I know. We enjoy the same music (Hooptown 101!), and her contrarian tendencies make her a true Wild Card in most situations. If she disagrees with me about anything, she usually just replies “NOPE!” and I’m only left to guess as to why I’m so wrong.

The Exhausted Dad: Tooth v. Sour Patch
April 13, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Tooth v. Sour Patch

A child-size molar is missing. During spring break, I took my kids to see “Kung Fu Panda 4,” which is the fourth best “Kung Fu Panda” movie.

The Exhausted Dad: Mastering efficient phone strategies
April 6, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Mastering efficient phone strategies

If I could offer one piece of advice to all of society, it would be to give younger generations the benefit of the doubt.

The Exhausted Dad: Different personalities on the sidelines
March 30, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Different personalities on the sidelines

I take pride in being a respectful member of an audience. As a moviegoer, I silence and stay off my phone, and I don’t converse with other moviegoers. Even when I tell my kids in the theater to be quiet, I tell them with sign language and, rarely, an extremely hushed whisper.

The Exhausted Dad: Overscheduled and on the run
March 23, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Overscheduled and on the run

My wife and I made a pact before we started a family: We can’t overschedule our kids.

The Exhausted Dad: Scrolling Facebook to feel young
March 2, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Scrolling Facebook to feel young

As an Old Millennial, I remember the early days of social media. I made a friend named Tom at MySpace, and nobody yet understood the concept of Catfishing. Yes, at least three of my friends in college had girlfriends who were models in Canada.

The Exhausted Dad: Young artists emerge for late-winter holidays
February 24, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Young artists emerge for late-winter holidays

Optimism ruled the Wilson house in early February this year. My kids love Groundhog Day, as the prospect of spring means the opportunity for bike riding and other outdoor activities (that don’t require 43 layers of snow-proof clothing).

February 17, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Taking the eraser away from my first grader

Cut. Backspace. Delete. On a computer, erasure requires little effort. I can correct mistakes instantly, and if I feel lazy, I can tell the computer to autocorrect the mistakes before I even notice them.

The Exhausted Dad: The dynamics of Quack Currency
February 10, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The dynamics of Quack Currency

Every Friday afternoon, I am swept into the world of elementary school economics.

The Exhausted Dad: Life’s essential knowledge (according to a first grader)
February 3, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Life’s essential knowledge (according to a first grader)

My 6-year-old takes his superhero research very seriously. A connoisseur of Batman, Spider-Man and the less-violent pockets of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, my son continues his education by bringing home the definitive resources from his weekly visits to the school library.

The Exhausted Dad: Family traditions and ‘down-low’ protocols
January 27, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Family traditions and ‘down-low’ protocols

“Don’t bite the bugs.” My dad used to say that to the little kid version of me every night before bed, inverting the classic, “Don’t let the bed bugs bite” tuck-in phrase. His mom (my grandmother) said it to him, so he passed the tradition along.

The Exhausted Dad: A nightmare for spine health
January 20, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A nightmare for spine health

Hundreds of lifestyle changes happen because of parenthood. The most disruptive of them all: A drastic reduction in quality sleep.

The Exhausted Dad: The emotional highs and lows of family game night
January 6, 2024 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The emotional highs and lows of family game night

As a longtime board game aficionado, I suffered through many, many rounds of Candyland and Chutes & Ladders to reach an exciting new phase of parenting my four children.

The Exhausted Dad: Holiday festivities hosted by norovirus
December 30, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Holiday festivities hosted by norovirus

Winter break should be a time for rest, relaxation and holiday traditions. Sharing the season with loved ones can build long-lasting memories that will be cherished for generations.

The Exhausted Dad: Retold stories that mutate into nightmares
December 23, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Retold stories that mutate into nightmares

The stories we tell won’t always belong to us. Such is the uncompromising nature of mortality. My legacy, ultimately, will belong to what my children remember about me.

The Exhausted Dad: A Christmas of bizarre requests
December 16, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A Christmas of bizarre requests

The Grinch once thought, “Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.”

The Exhausted Dad: Kids take over the parenting column
December 9, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Kids take over the parenting column

Early December is now one of the busiest times in my life thanks to studying for Final Exams and cranking out Final Papers. As a result, I didn’t have time to write a fresh column this week.

The Exhausted Dad: Magic of the season doesn’t apply to monkeys
December 2, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Magic of the season doesn’t apply to monkeys

Christmas is magic for kids, but magic has its limits. For good reason.

The Exhausted Dad: Tagalongs to a no-kid getaway
November 25, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Tagalongs to a no-kid getaway

I don’t know if they miss us, but they sure like to text us while we’re away.

The Exhausted Dad: Mystery of the secret voice
November 18, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Mystery of the secret voice

In a few short years, I’m convinced this generation of Helicopter Parents will invent a device that will monitor their children 24 hours a day. Forget about phone trackers and nanny cams. I’m talking about a full-time robot with the surveillance capabilities of the NSA.

The Exhausted Dad: Saying yes to the dress and no to everything else
November 11, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Saying yes to the dress and no to everything else

Shopping with my oldest daughter is a danger to my bank account.

The Exhausted Dad: Corruption and waste in Adventure Bay
October 28, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Corruption and waste in Adventure Bay

People love to complain about local government, especially during election season. As much as I understand such frustrations, I try to be positive. I think, “It could be so much worse.” We could be residents of Adventure Bay. That town is a clown show.

The Exhausted Dad: No Swifties in the house but me
October 21, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: No Swifties in the house but me

Nobody wants to go to “The Eras Tour” with me.

The Exhausted Dad: Parenting vs. playoffs: A battle for time
October 14, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Parenting vs. playoffs: A battle for time

My school schedule this semester conflicts with some of my favorite acts of parenting. I enjoy picking them up from school and hearing about the day’s activities and interactions with other kids. I love cheering from the sidelines at games, and I’ll even brave a crowded auditorium to see a band concert or talent performance. That’s big for an introverted germaphobe, OK?

The Exhausted Dad: Calling foul on the clean houses
October 7, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Calling foul on the clean houses

The neat and tidy people of the world need to spill their secret.

The Exhausted Dad: Being sick is just a state of mind
September 30, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Being sick is just a state of mind

My 8-year-old daughter never gets sick. She says. No matter the obvious symptoms, my daughter won’t admit illness. She carries great pride in her immune system.

The Exhausted Dad: Play ball… for the first time?
September 23, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Play ball… for the first time?

Contrary to what my oldest daughter keeps telling everybody, I fulfilled my fatherly duties teaching her how to throw a ball.

The Exhausted Dad: When they don’t look back
September 16, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: When they don’t look back

My baby boy doesn’t need me anymore. At least that’s how it felt when I dropped him off for the first day of school.

The Exhausted Dad: Be our guest… after a purge and deep, deep clean
September 9, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Be our guest… after a purge and deep, deep clean

Visitors provide motivation for long-ignored home projects.

The Exhausted Dad: Families built on Barker-era ‘Price is Right’
September 2, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Families built on Barker-era ‘Price is Right’

Summers and sick days belonged to Bob Barker.

The Exhausted Dad: Don’t be the worst one at the party
August 26, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Don’t be the worst one at the party

Some invitations for kid birthday parties include the clause, “Siblings welcome.”

The Exhausted Dad: The strange lives of Squishmallows
August 19, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The strange lives of Squishmallows

As someone prone to imagine the inner life of inanimate objects, I find it fun to consider what a retired Beanie Baby might think about the pop culture phenomenon of Squishmallows.

The Exhausted Dad: Turtle fandom must come naturally
August 12, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Turtle fandom must come naturally

No matter what I do or say, I can’t force my four kids to join me in the club for “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” super-fandom.

The Exhausted Dad: Life finds a way… at other people’s houses
August 5, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Life finds a way… at other people’s houses

Attention teachers and camp counselors: Stop sending my kids home with living things. This family can’t handle the responsibility.

The Exhausted Dad: A fierce cheering section for the road team
July 29, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A fierce cheering section for the road team

My wife deserves the spotlight for several hundred reasons. For today, she gets the spotlight for being a (mostly) devoted fan.

The Exhausted Dad: A cheese factory and a dancing banana
July 22, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A cheese factory and a dancing banana

You can’t expect relaxation on a vacation with four kids. While achievable, the effort required often turns “feeling relaxed” into “being too tired to move.”

The Exhausted Dad: A brief reminder of toddler life
July 15, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: A brief reminder of toddler life

As much as old pictures and videos allow parents to look back fondly at the earlier years of their children, they can’t totally recreate the complete experience of the baby and toddler years. They offer a partial, distorted picture. Even if you watch a video of a particularly screechy toddler temper tantrum (because of course we recorded those), you don’t get the full sensory experience of the moment.

The Exhausted Dad: The splash pad/car ride conundrum
July 8, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The splash pad/car ride conundrum

An unexpected splash pad led to some next-level parental navigation.

The Exhausted Dad: Party under pressure
July 1, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Party under pressure

Our 6-year-old will never understand the anxiety his parents felt planning his birthday party.

The Exhausted Dad: Understanding the fuel to the flame
June 24, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Understanding the fuel to the flame

Some kids burn bright. My 8-year-old daughter carries the biggest flame in the family.

The Exhausted Dad: The ultimate kindergarten lesson — confidence
June 17, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The ultimate kindergarten lesson — confidence

My son started kindergarten with a long list of fears. He didn’t know how to find his classroom. The playground equipment was “too big.” The toilets were “too tall.”

The Exhausted Dad: Family pictures and all the wrong clothes
June 10, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Family pictures and all the wrong clothes

With two slobs in charge of four children, we can’t be too judgmental in our house about the quality of our family photos.

The Exhausted Dad: Friendship wins the talent show
June 3, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Friendship wins the talent show

Some talents work better onstage than others.

The Exhausted Dad: Music makes the parade
May 27, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Music makes the parade

The only parade I ever remember enjoying was the one inserted in the Sunday newspaper.

The Exhausted Dad: Test-taking strategies from the 6th grade
May 20, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Test-taking strategies from the 6th grade

For my last final of the semester, I followed the advice of my 11-year-old daughter.

The Exhausted Dad: The sweet smell of sensitivity
May 13, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The sweet smell of sensitivity

“Something smells really, really, really, really bad.” — my 5-year-old at the dinner table on Sunday night.

The Exhausted Dad: The birthday one-up game
May 6, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The birthday one-up game

Kids make birthdays more fun for everyone, as youth can be a distraction from the faint-but-ever-growing knocking at the door of our certain, future demise.

The Exhausted Dad: Middle school band and the mystery squeak
April 29, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Middle school band and the mystery squeak

My 11-year-old daughter plays clarinet in her sixth-grade band. When she practices in her room, she usually sounds pretty good, especially considering the music isn’t really intended as a solo act. The squeaks and squeals you expect from a beginner musician have been, thankfully, few and far between.

The Exhausted Dad: Brace yourself for disappointment
April 22, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: Brace yourself for disappointment

A couple of weeks before her appointment, my oldest daughter began to get excited about braces.

The Exhausted Dad: The birthday dome of destruction
April 15, 2023 1 a.m.

The Exhausted Dad: The birthday dome of destruction

Nothing tests the mettle of a marriage better than a complicated assembly project.

The exhausted dad: The sting of missing a parent-teacher conference
April 8, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: The sting of missing a parent-teacher conference

I don’t take personal compliments well, but I love it when people praise my kids.

The exhausted dad: Fun facts about Bananas Grande
April 1, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Fun facts about Bananas Grande

“Humans and bananas share about 60 percent of the same types of genes.”

The exhausted dad: Paranoia as bad as the bug
March 22, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Paranoia as bad as the bug

Trust nothing. Question everything.

The exhausted dad: An ocean full of fun facts
March 15, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: An ocean full of fun facts

I don’t know if I should trust the onslaught of factoids that come out of my kindergartner’s mouth.

The exhausted dad: A 50-step high-five marathon
March 1, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: A 50-step high-five marathon

Putting my kids to bed each night takes forever, and it’s all my fault.

The exhausted dad: New members of a quiet, attentive crowd
February 22, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: New members of a quiet, attentive crowd

Parents of young children know how difficult it can be to attend public events and performances. You can’t expect babies and little kids to be quiet for extended periods of time. If they need something, they’re going to let everyone know about it.

The exhausted dad: College life — A kid’s perspective
February 15, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: College life — A kid’s perspective

Recess, lunchrooms and playground drama… it’s a college life for me!

The exhausted dad: It’s OK to be a Barbie tween
February 8, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: It’s OK to be a Barbie tween

“Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.”

The exhausted dad: Abandoned by my own children
February 1, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Abandoned by my own children

Readers of this space might remember last week I contracted COVID for this first time.

The exhausted dad: Reign of a social distancing champion
January 25, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Reign of a social distancing champion

We first learned about COVID in early 2020. Some of y’all caught that bug early on, and, unfortunately, you might have dealt with it a few times by now.

The exhausted dad: A perfectly-executed morning schedule
January 18, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: A perfectly-executed morning schedule

If I had a choice in the matter, no activity would be allowed to begin prior to 11 a.m.

The exhausted dad: The 2022 movie log for an 11-year-old
January 11, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: The 2022 movie log for an 11-year-old

As a companion piece to my Best Movies of 2022 feature in this section, I decided to amplify the voice of Team Wilson’s harshest critic — my 11-year-old daughter.

The exhausted dad: The Big Game of the new year
January 4, 2023 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: The Big Game of the new year

My kids know almost nothing about football.

The exhausted dad: Planning ahead for being 6 in 2023
December 28, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Planning ahead for being 6 in 2023

My 5-year-old son couldn’t wait for Christmas to be over. Though he enjoyed the holiday as any kindergartner would, my son recently became obsessed with his birthday… which is in June.

The exhausted dad: ‘Twas the night of cold singing and no sleeping
December 21, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: ‘Twas the night of cold singing and no sleeping

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the Wilson house, nothing is ready for tomorrow and I’m too tired to make this rhyme.

The exhausted dad: A sick day education
December 14, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: A sick day education

My kindergartner comes home every day in a state of pure exhaustion, as little 5 and 6-year-olds learn so much in their first year of full-time school.

The exhausted dad: You can’t take us anywhere
December 7, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: You can’t take us anywhere

Whether we intend to or not, our family of six makes an impression when we attend public gatherings.

The exhausted dad: A feast fit for a busy family
November 30, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: A feast fit for a busy family

How to make the laziest holiday meal imaginable…

The exhausted dad: Loyalty to the discount tree
November 23, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Loyalty to the discount tree

Every November for the past 10 years I’ve asked myself the same question: “Should I buy a new Christmas tree?”

The exhausted dad: Deep thoughts by a kindergartner
November 16, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Deep thoughts by a kindergartner

If you really stop to think about it, being alive is absolutely terrifying.

The exhausted dad: Frog throats and other vocal observations
November 9, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Frog throats and other vocal observations

My 5-year-old son caught a cold a few days before Halloween.

The exhausted dad: Small talk about small people
November 2, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Small talk about small people

For the past 11 years, I haven’t spent much time away from my kids.

The exhausted dad: The subjective face of terror
October 26, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: The subjective face of terror

Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers… none of them can compare to the VHS cover of a Mickey Mouse cartoon.

The exhausted dad: Dumping the ‘Too old for’ -isms
October 19, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Dumping the ‘Too old for’ -isms

As much as I appreciate my parents and how they raised me, one of my most frustrating memories of childhood happened around Halloween in the 6th grade.

The exhausted dad: Blaming the kids for all your virus woes
October 12, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Blaming the kids for all your virus woes

As much as I try to listen to the medical experts when it comes to navigating the COVID pandemic, some knowledge can only come from personal experience.

The exhausted dad: If you give a mouse too many cookies…
October 5, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: If you give a mouse too many cookies…

Forget what the books say. You should never let a mouse get too comfortable.

The exhausted dad: Big toilets – a kindergartner’s nightmare
September 28, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Big toilets – a kindergartner’s nightmare

Parents of 5 and 6-year-olds know the challenge of the first weeks of kindergarten.

The exhausted dad: Sick on the second day
September 21, 2022 1 a.m.

The exhausted dad: Sick on the second day

So much excitement surrounds the first day of school.

The stay-at-home dad: Stay at home no more
September 14, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Stay at home no more

My children abandoned me.

The stay-at-home dad: Sticky lockers and middle school nerves
September 7, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Sticky lockers and middle school nerves

My oldest daughter couldn’t figure out how to use her new locker at middle school.

The stay-at-home dad: An exhaustive breakdown of a 7-year-old’s microwave egg-making
August 31, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: An exhaustive breakdown of a 7-year-old’s microwave egg-making

If you enjoy listening to detailed explanations of basic routines and tasks, please come spend time with my 7-year-old daughter.

The stay-at-home dad: Seal attacks and drifting out to sea
August 24, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Seal attacks and drifting out to sea

Despite a few lessons and plenty of time on local waterways, I wouldn’t count on any of my four kids to swim effectively without a life jacket - not a big deal so long as you approach water activities with safety at the forefront. With that in mind, I want to clarify that I would never put my children in a position to be harmed. But all parents remember situations in which our kids find themselves on the verge of danger. Luckily, most of these situations turn out fine and wind up being amusing memories of youthful incompetence. On a trip to the Puget Sound, my wife and I decided to take our four kids kayaking and paddleboarding. With temperatures scorching and (mostly) calm waters abound it seemed it would be about as leisurely as a trek on Lake Coeur d’Alene.

The stay-at-home dad: The special rocks are everywhere
August 17, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: The special rocks are everywhere

In my childhood, I considered agates and sand dollars to be the most valuable items to find in nature.

The stay-at-home dad: The worst car in the world
August 10, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: The worst car in the world

My 5-year-old son only recently decided he enjoys looking out the window at the world during long car rides.

The stay-at-home dad: Reasons to go crazy and reminders to stay sane
August 3, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Reasons to go crazy and reminders to stay sane

A parent’s approach to conflict can vary, and what works to help some kids through emotional turmoil may not work for others.

The stay-at-home dad: Tracking kids via floor hazards
July 27, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Tracking kids via floor hazards

If I left my kids alone in the house for a day, I’d be able to figure out their full slate of activities just based on the status of my kitchen and living room floor.

The stay-at-home dad: Online kids — NASA, stand-up comedy and Magic Tree Houses
July 20, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Online kids — NASA, stand-up comedy and Magic Tree Houses

I’ve never been particularly interested in popular opinion, especially if I find that opinion to be lazy.

The stay-at-home dad: Kid researchers tackle hot topics
July 13, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Kid researchers tackle hot topics

Kids these days know way too much.

The stay-at-home dad: Slip ‘N Slide personality types
June 29, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Slip ‘N Slide personality types

With temperatures finally reaching 80 degrees last week, my kids unkinked our 15-year-old hose and busted out the Slip ‘N Slide for the very first time.

The stay-at-home dad: A Turtle maniac after four tries
June 22, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: A Turtle maniac after four tries

The “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” defined my childhood. Ah, heck, let’s just admit it; I’m still a huge TMNT fan.

The stay-at-home dad: Sentiment for ill-fitting clothes
June 15, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Sentiment for ill-fitting clothes

My wife opened an old box in the garage and found my old Ghostbusting jumpsuit.

The stay-at-home dad: Everyone loves a Slinky — except parents
June 8, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Everyone loves a Slinky — except parents

Nothing lasts forever. Especially a Slinky. A Slinky lasts 30 minutes at most.

The stay-at-home dad: Family hikes — All about short bursts and dragging feet
June 1, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Family hikes — All about short bursts and dragging feet

I’m generally not a fan of my kids growing older.

The stay-at-home dad: Kids face Jurassic expectations
May 25, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Kids face Jurassic expectations

My four kids know I’m a “movie guy,” and they know “Jurassic Park” is my go-to, be-all-end-all favorite film of all time.

The stay-at-home dad: The boy who must be served
May 18, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: The boy who must be served

My 4-year-old son turns 5 next month.

The stay-at-home dad: A quiet morning for mom
May 11, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: A quiet morning for mom

It is impossible for my wife to sleep late in our house.

The stay-at-home dad: In celebration of the do-it-all mom
May 4, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: In celebration of the do-it-all mom

In case these stay-at-home dad columns haven’t made it clear already: I’m hardly the expert when it comes to effective parenting.

The stay-at-home dad: Extended egg hunt — now through forever!
April 27, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Extended egg hunt — now through forever!

I’m not here to tell the Easter bunny how to do their job.

The stay-at-home dad: A 4-year-old weighs in on long hair for boys
April 20, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: A 4-year-old weighs in on long hair for boys

I want to talk about how my 4-year-old son thinks long hair is “for girls.”

The stay-at-home dad: Toddler tales of the tape
April 13, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Toddler tales of the tape

While raising kids in the smartphone era comes with a heap of complications, I don’t know where I would be without my digital collection of video memories.

The stay-at-home dad: Young pranksters go full throttle on April Fools’ Day
April 6, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Young pranksters go full throttle on April Fools’ Day

As part-time Press writer April Fuhl demonstrates every year, you can’t trust anything on April 1.

The stay-at-home dad: When ‘approaching’ meets an angry fifth grader
March 30, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: When ‘approaching’ meets an angry fifth grader

My 10-year-old daughter ripped open a can of whoop-sass at her recent parent-teacher conference.

The stay-at-home dad: Dogs keep dissing my daughter
March 16, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Dogs keep dissing my daughter

If my 6-year-old daughter had her way, all dogs would go straight to jail.

The stay-at-home dad: Celebrating the first March Fest carnival
March 9, 2022 1 a.m.

The stay-at-home dad: Celebrating the first March Fest carnival

As I chugged my fourth cup of coffee in my bedroom late last Saturday morning, I noticed a small hand shove a colorful flyer under my door.