The Exhausted Dad: Overscheduled and on the run
My wife and I made a pact before we started a family: We can’t overschedule our kids.
We wanted to let our kids choose fun activities, but we also wanted to give them plenty of down time for spontaneity. School already requires hours of active learning, and kids need rest and recovery time. In short, they don’t need to be so busy!
OK, selfishly, I also didn’t want to be a parent stuck on the sidelines of a soccer field every weekend trying to spot my kid running and scrambling alongside a bunch of other kids. I don’t care about.
Almost 13 years into this parenting gig, my wife and I have (mostly) stuck to our scheduling decree. Our kids, on a regular basis, usually have only one or two extracurriculars at any given time of the year.
Unfortunately, we chose to have FOUR children. Even one extra activity per kid creates scheduling problems for parents working and going to school full time.
Remember when the pandemic gave us all an easy excuse to pass on all social activities? I don’t wish COVID on anyone, but I really liked staying home and away from folks.
These last few weeks have been the busiest run of extracurriculars ever for our family, mostly thanks to my oldest daughter wanting to try everything at her school. She already plays clarinet in regular band and saxophone in jazz band (requiring an extra early start of a school day twice a week). She’ll join random “bonus” extracurriculars after school too, like a random art or cooking class. After refusing to pick up a basketball for the past three years, she joined the JV basketball team, too. She hates running as much as I hate running. And yet she joined the team anyway.
Maybe she’s just trying to avoid her family? That can’t be, because she wants us in attendance for every event, AND she stays up late every night to chat and chat and chat away at us about the day’s activities.
It’s all totally fine, honestly, except for when the other kids' activities run against her newly packed schedule. Other kids go to gymnastics or choir. Heck, even visiting a friend’s house now requires a thorough examination of the family calendar.
But then come the elementary school concerts: One for each grade. Then parent-teacher conferences. Then the book fair! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THE BOOK FAIR!
Some of these activities, thankfully, don’t last too long. Fun fact: If you’re 15 minutes late to a middle school basketball game, you might be lucky to catch the final few shots of the second quarter.
Last week, my youngest son had his first grade musical running against my oldest daughter’s basketball game and spring band concert, forcing my wife and I to split attendance duties. This happens more than it should. My wife left work to go to an away basketball game at 3:30 p.m.; I had to pick the other kids up from school (with no chance of making it over to the game … not with this slowpoke crew). My wife and daughter then ran home for a quick change and prep for the band concert, which required her to be there at 6:30. My son’s musical needed him there at 6 for a 6:15 start. I went there with one other kid, while the other other kid went with my wife and daughter to the concert.
The elementary musicals are pandemonium. An auditorium crammed with parents (probably with the COVID!) and about half of us trying to record our kids singing while dodging the 7-foot-tall grandparents who somehow managed to snag front-row seats and aren’t recording the concert. Hey, tall old man! If you’re going to sit up front, record the show and send it to the rest of us!
The first grade concert lasts about 20 minutes. Honestly, you spend more time finding a seat in the auditorium than the kids do singing. The musical ended at 6:45. And credit to the school for organization, the kids were quickly corralled and lined up by class. I darted out of the auditorium before the old guy in front stopped clapping and promptly collected my first grader (my other kid ran behind after me — look alive, kid, we’re moving!) and we all ran out of the school and over to the “secret,” “extra” parking lot that avoids most of the post-concert congestion. Yes, you learn these secret things as an overscheduled parent, though this parking spot, unfortunately, requires me doing cardio.
We then drove across town to the middle school for the start of the 7 p.m. band concert. Typically, that’s a 15-minute drive. We made it there in eight minutes. And no, police, I didn’t speed. All the traffic lights were green!
We saw the full concert, then went home to rest. Ha ha, just kidding. Each performing kid wants a conflicting “special takeout” meal to celebrate their achievements.
Do you think my kids would believe me if I told them the government mandated another COVID shutdown? I need a vacation from kid activities.
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student, and parent to four kids, ages 6-12. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.
The Exhausted Dad
