The Exhausted Dad: The final bike rider
Fun fact: Almost 65% of all commercials depicting parenthood feature images of a parent teaching a kid how to ride a bike.
OK, that fun fact isn’t exactly scientific or even remotely traceable, but riding a bike is one of those quintessential childhood experiences, and parents often fondly remember the earliest moments when kids ride on their own without training wheels.
At the very least, it’s a memorable episode of “Full House.”
I remember teaching my first three kids how to ride a bike without training wheels. I feel like I did a pretty good job! Well, at least for a person who hasn’t sat on a bike of his own in well over a decade.
My bike-riding instructional career officially came to an end this week. My 7-year-old son received a brand-new bike for his recent birthday, and, after about a day of tribulations and at least two dozen, “I can’t do it!” declarations, he finally pedaled himself out of the nest and into the sunset. It’s official. My baby doesn’t need me anymore.
Yes, I realize the kid probably should have learned how to ride a bike without training wheels before he turned 7 years old. Hold your judgment for a second while I list some valid excuses.
1) Pandemic! Anything in which a kid has fallen behind on perceived milestones, I always blame the pandemic. I love blaming things on COVID-19, even when it makes no sense at all. I really miss worming out of undesirable social functions because of the pandemic.
2) We’re a busy family! My wife works full time. I’m in graduate school. The kids have various activities and events and, even in the summer, we end up having less and less time to do things as simple as “Go outside and learn to ride a bike.” When are we all supposed to be playing video games if we’re forced to be outside all the time?
3) He didn’t want to learn! This isn’t our first time trying to teach our youngest child how to ride a bike without training wheels. As the true baby of the family, the lad is accustomed to everybody doing everything for him. Two years ago, we tried for the third or fourth time to encourage him to ride a bike (WITH training wheels no less). He refused to pedal. Words he actually said to my face: “Why would I pedal if you’re here to push me?”
As a parent of four kids, I learned a long time ago that every child learns and grows at his or her own pace. One kid will learn how to walk early. Another won’t even bother to crawl until their first birthday. My youngest daughter, despite being two years younger, learned how to ride a bike without training wheels alongside her older brother when he was 5. Because she would not tolerate being left out of any possible fun.
Call me crazy, but trying to make kids do certain things on a specific timetable risks ruining what makes every kid unique in the first place. With my son, we weren’t dealing with some kind of developmental delay with his ability to balance and pedal. He just didn’t want to ride a bike. Riding a bike on his own meant the older siblings wouldn’t center all their outdoor activities around his enjoyment. “Push me in the wagon!” “Use this jump rope to drag me and my bike behind yours!” (which is far more complicated and dangerous than riding your own bike, but we’re talking about kid logic here).
When he first started kindergarten, my son had a tendency to be too critical of his own mistakes. When trying to write letters or even draw a picture, he’d often stop to feverishly erase a line he didn’t like. He thought everything had to be exactly perfect, and it took us a while to help him understand the beauty and value of making mistakes.
As a newly minted 7-year-old, he still sometimes treats his small mistakes like they are permanent failures. It will probably be a struggle throughout his life.
But when he first saw his new bike (which didn’t come with training wheels), I could tell he had the will and desire to learn how to ride it by himself.
It honestly didn’t take too long. He stumbled a few times but kept trying, over and over, until he got it right. Soon he was gliding down the driveway, pedaling up the sidewalk and racing circles around neighborhood cul-de-sacs.
Everyone in the family told him how proud we all were that he learned how to ride his bike. Still, I’m most impressed with what he told me as I tucked him in for bed a couple of days later.
He said, “Dad, I’m really proud of myself for learning how to ride my bike. It was hard, but I knew I could do it.”
That’s a huge statement for a kid who struggles with his own self-esteem. Maybe he should have learned how to ride a bike on his own a long time ago. But a confident growth mindset will help him conquer the next 900 formidable life skills that come his way.
•••
Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and parent to four kids, ages 7-13. He is tired.
The Exhausted Dad