The Exhausted Dad: Young artists emerge for late-winter holidays
Optimism ruled the Wilson house in early February this year. My kids love Groundhog Day, as the prospect of spring means the opportunity for bike riding and other outdoor activities (that don’t require 43 layers of snow-proof clothing).
For anyone who missed it Feb. 2, the famous groundhog did not see his shadow, suggesting an early start to spring. Or so goes the story. When it snowed last week, my kids felt betrayed. That little critter from Gobbler’s Knob is obviously a lying liar who lies.
“That Philadelphia Phil doesn’t know anything!” my 8-year-old daughter declared.
Maybe that’s the real problem. Punxsutawney Phil is missing. Alert the authorities!
Even if cold weather prevails, February comes packed with multiple distractions for kids, including Valentine’s Day, a school day off for President’s Day, and some pretty funny Dunkin’ Donuts commercials, although my kids don’t understand why their dad keeps hollering “AFFLECK ON THE TRACK!” at them.
Valentine’s Day essentially translates into Winter Candy Day. Yes, the kids pass around paper Valentines, but the real prize is SUGAR. A few kids hand out erasers and slime too, as you can always identify which kids have parents who work in the dental industry.
Of my three elementary-age children, two of them wanted to make their own Valentines this year (instead of acquiring store-bought products featuring the likes of Grogu, Barbie, etc.). We obviously included candy with these homemade cards, as I didn’t want them to be bullied about “missing the point” of Valentine’s Day (Point=Sugar).
My 10-year-old son, using his paint-markers, created 20+ stunning art cards, all unique and varied, from landscapes and animals to vibrant, abstract color swirls. He didn’t bother writing “Happy Valentine’s Day” on them. He just signed his first name. Like a boss. Save that art, kids, because it might be worth millions one day.
My 8-year-old daughter made more traditional Valentine’s cards that combined her unique art with a pun-infused greeting. She drew everyone a different dinosaur then looked online for some prehistoric-themed puns.
She settled on:
• You’re a T-riffic Valentine!
• You make my heart ROAR!
• You’re ROAR-SOME!
• What does the fox say? (She wanted to draw a fox for one of her friends. Plus she likes that song).
My 6-year-old son wanted to make his own Valentines too. Except when it came time to make them, he really wanted Mom and Dad to do it while he played “Minecraft.”
We made our first compromise by printing out two different sets of black-and-white Minions-themed Valentines. We made the second compromise when he refused to cut them out.
Finally, we asked him to color in each of the Minions, write his classmate’s name and sign his own name. He handled the writing element just fine, then executed one of his best-ever coloring jobs. Of one Minion on one Valentine. He incorporated several colors (not just the standard yellow-and-blue), and it honestly looked better than a store-bought Valentine.
He started on the second card, then promptly melted. “My hand is tired!”
Third compromise: Letting him wait until the next day to finish the job. Fourth compromise: Waiting until 7 p.m. the night before they were due.
Fifth compromise: I offered to help him color half of his Minion Valentines.
I asked: “Can we just make it yellow and blue and get through them fast?”
His response: “They have to be EXACTLY like this first one!”
No more compromises apparently.
I don’t consider myself to be a petty person, but my son did NOT “split” the job. He colored three Minions. I colored 13. And yes, my Minions were EXQUISITE.
While he may not have a future in fine art, my 6-year-old son exhausted massive amounts of energy getting ready for his class’s 101st Day of School Party, which is apparently another February event designed to distract families from the bad weather and varied respiratory illnesses. His class dressed in black-and-white and watched “101 Dalmatians.” Oh, and ate candy. Because when we can’t fill our souls with creative art or warm weather activities, we can always fill it with SUGAR.
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student, and parent to four kids, ages 6-12. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.
The Exhausted Dad