The Exhausted Dad: Patience for young children and nobody else
Like a 9-year-old Tommy Lee Jones, my daughter won’t sanction your buffoonery.
At this point in her young life, my daughter apparently knows everything and will not tolerate what could be considered even the slightest criticism. While possibly a product of middle child syndrome, or her lifelong struggles with fear of missing out (FOMO), I think it might be simpler than that.
In short: I think she just doesn’t like other people all that much, particularly those who might interfere with her preferred everyday activities.
I’ve noticed this most in the last couple years, as her younger brother, now 7 years old, grows more independent and opinionated. Back when he was a baby/toddler/preschooler/kindergartner, my daughter LOVED taking care of his every need. Our youngest couldn’t do anything on his own because his closest-in-age sister would do anything for him. She prepared food for him, pushed him on bikes, in wagons and on swings, and she served as translator to his every spoken word, even long after the kid could speak clearly on his own.
Recently, however, she’s decided that 7 is too old to be receiving help from a jet-setting 9-year-old. She won’t do anything for him anymore, and the poor kid has finally had to figure out how to make toast all by himself. The horror!
Even more, her tolerance of his “adverse” behavior has been completely vaporized. If my son was upset about something before, my daughter would retrieve his favorite blanket and give him a hug. Nowadays, she’s like, “Ugh, buddy, you’re TOO OLD to be upset about that!”
If it sounds like I’m being too harsh on my daughter, well … try living with her! (My vocal delivery of this line indicates that I’m joking). Really, she’s still one of the sweetest and most helpful kids around. Her teachers find her to be kind and respectful at school, and so long as she’s comfortable in her surroundings, most would never know how much she hates your stupid face.
Still, I miss the days of her being an angelic caretaker to her younger brother. Luckily, her 3-year-old cousin came to stay with us last weekend, and my daughter reverted to her innate parenting mastery.
She made her cousin food, picked out her clothes, pushed her in the wagon and generally just hovered over her the entire weekend. My other kids repeatedly complained about being “blocked” from playing with her. We had to take my daughter out of the house on her own for a special errand just so the other kids had a chance to speak to their cousin.
When I talked to her about letting her cousin do more things on her own, she rolled her eyes and told me, “I don’t need to listen to you.”
It’s sweet, really. Exhausting, but sweet.
I think at this point my daughter is destined to grow up to be a preschool teacher. She LOVES little kids. She’ll be incredible at it, and the kids that go through her classroom will make forever memories of the teacher that inspired them to love school.
But, man, I really do feel sorry for anyone on the wrong side of her opinion during a parent-teacher conference.
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and parent to four kids, ages 7-13. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.
The Exhausted Dad