The Exhausted Dad: Kid superfan reviews ‘A Minecraft Movie’

Around the time my oldest son learned how to walk, he began playing “Minecraft.”

Now 11 years old, my son owns many “Minecraft”-themed collectibles and has logged hundreds, if not thousands, of hours playing the various games, watching videos of other people playing the games, reading about the games, making plans for the games, creating art inspired by the games, etc.

When the trailer for “A Minecraft Movie” was released online last year, my son watched it several dozen times. Even when some of his classmates scoffed at the “ugly” visuals in the trailer, my son assured everyone that the movie, led by Jack Black, would be worth the wait.

My other three kids like “Minecraft,” too, but my younger son, 7, commits the most to his brother’s interests. And so, on opening day of the movie last week, the three boys of Team Wilson traveled to the theater to experience “A Minecraft Movie.”

You can find my review of the movie elsewhere in this section. I thought it was fine. Charmingly weird in many ways. Keep in mind that I don’t play the game. I barely know how to use the PlayStation remote or to build a basic house.*

*On the other hand, park me in front of “Jurassic World: Evolution” or “Jurassic World: Evolution 2,” and I’ll build you the most elaborate, impressive dinosaur theme park you’ve ever seen.

I now present you the compiled thoughts of an 11-year-old “Minecraft” mega-fan regarding the new movie:

• “People thought that the visuals would be weird. But they were all wrong because everything looked amazing.”

•  “The story comes from the ‘Minecraft: Legends’ game, which is a really smart idea.”

•  “The movie is really funny. Dad, you laughed so much at Steve. You obviously liked it, Dad.”

•  “We’re going to wait until after the credits roll, because I’m sure there’s going to be a post-credits scene.”

•  At the end of the credits, and after everyone else in the theater left: “I told you there would be a scene after the credits. I can’t believe all those people left. They don’t know anything.”

•  “Oooh, did you see that? That’s an (insert random name of a random thing in the Minecraft Universe).” Multiply this sentence 1,000 times.

•  “Did you see that pig with a crown? That was an homage to a creator who died. It was really sad. But also, it was really nice to see in the movie.”

•  “I liked the visuals, but I didn’t really like the look of the Creepers.” (Whoa! Actual criticism!)

•  “They are probably going to make several sequels. They should call the next one ‘Another Minecraft Movie.’”

•  "Of course ‘A Minecraft Movie’ made a bunch of money. It’s the most popular video game of all time!” (That’s true!)

• “Dad, who or what is Napoleon Dynamite?” (Read my review, kid!)

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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and parent to four kids, ages 7-13. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.