Something about a cemetery

Wonder, curiosity and sorrow mix with reverence and reverie when I step beyond the gates and into the sacred space where those who have gone before me are interred.

I'm always pulled to the most historical section of the cemetery, subconsciously seeking the oldest graves, quietly speaking names, dates and ages aloud as I read the inscriptions and admire the craftsmanship and creativity of how families honored the lives and final wishes of their loved ones.

This curiosity was instilled in me at a young age. My maternal and paternal grandparents lived in neighborhoods mere blocks from the beautiful, sprawling Forest Cemetery, where my maternal grandparents have found their final resting place. A few of my other great-grands and loved ones can be found in this nearly 150-year-old piece of hallowed ground, where towering pines gently sway in moments when the wind is the only thing that can be heard.

With parents who grew up so close by, Forest Cemetery has always been a natural and beloved part of our family's history. My mom told me stories about playing hide-and-go-seek among the headstones when she was younger. I remember riding my bike on the paved pathways with my dad in the summer. I wandered along those same pathways on crisp autumn nights with my husband when we were dating. 

One of my first memories in this cemetery was of my mom and I having lunch on the grass, then wandering through the tombstones while she read names to me and I searched for dark brown gleaming chestnut treasures to take home. We always stopped to admire the angel in the northwest corner, to mourn the young lives lost in the adjacent children's section — the stone lambs on the tiny tombstones still make me sad — and see if we could catch the eyes of the Civil War soldier statue following us as we investigated the grounds over which he will always watch.

My mom was also my exploring buddy when we finally pulled over to see the Kootenai County Cemetery on Seltice Way when I was a teenager. After years of driving by the largely overlooked pauper's cemetery, we decided to investigate despite its overgrown appearance. I was happy to see a local 4-H club replace its sign back in 2019 and give the little off-the-beaten-path burial ground some love.

Whenever I travel, I like to visit museums to learn the history of a place and wander the cemeteries to gain a deeper sense of the people who built the towns and cultures of those places. I've been to the beautiful and historical Trinity Churchyard in New York as well as the storied and expansive Mount Moriah Cemetery in Deadwood, S.D. I have so many more on my bucket list, such as the above-ground cemeteries in New Orleans and the Catacombs of Paris, but I am always enthralled to stumble upon one by chance in my travels. I especially love old West graves and Victorian burial grounds, from simple wrought iron fences surrounding the grave sites to elaborate marble and granite monuments inscribed with prayers and blessings.

There's just something about the stillness of a cemetery — even if cars are zipping past the iron fences — that gives me pause. It allows me to reflect on all the people who came before me and appreciate the paths that have been cleared for my generation, the traditions and values that have been instilled and all the work that was done so my life could be an easy and happy one.

I don't know what will become of my mortal remains. But I sure hope I make enough impact in my life for someone to inscribe something meaningful on my tombstone, in a beautiful swirling font that will call to someone 150 years from now to trace their fingers along and read aloud as they wonder who I was and what my life was like all those years ago.

    Inscriptions on the headstones in Trinity Churchyard in Manhattan have begun to fade away after hundreds of years of looking over the early Americans interred there. Some of the graves in the churchyard are seen here in spring 2011.
  

    A sign in Forest Cemetery reminds visitors, "This is a cemetery. Lives are commemorated - deaths are recorded - families are reunited - memories are made tangible - and love is undisguised. This is a cemetery."