THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Don't take the rankings too seriously

Rankings are fun.

More or less.

They’re also a waste of mental energy, but hey, you aren’t supposed to be taking them seriously.

Gonzaga’s hoop crowd have popped up among the top five — occasionally at No. 1 — in various polls, but that’s not going to win them any games.

I guess the combination of rankings and social media will always give you something to do.

A zillion Zags are currently screeching back and forth with Kansas fans over the top spot.

Consider that this is an argument over the relative merits of two basketball teams that have not played a game.

There is also no law preventing some other team from blowing out the Zags or KU.

Or both.

The New Jersey Institute of Sewing and Crocheting has been really active in the transfer portal.

At least, that’s the rumor.

Now then, let me pose a question for you poll junkies.

Is 10 the only number that matters, the absolute cut-off where rankings truly matter?

Can we dismiss a team who has landed at No. 11 in Ken Pomeroy’s preseason rankings?

Is a team that opens a season at No. 22 in the NET even worth watching?

OK, WE’VE left that dispute open.

Same thing with different sized schools, I suppose.

I think it was three or four years ago that the Mississippi Teachers College for Armed Spies, an institution devoted specifically to Middle East weaponry, ran the table in Division IV volleyball.

The Grenades had been ranked 17th in the only official preseason poll, but shot down all competition in a dramatic unbeaten season.

Let’s see.

Do we risk looking foolish by attaching some number to a team that fails to hit its goals?

Nah.

Nobody will remember.

One thing that’s neat is we can rank anything, and claim to have done research.

I kind of enjoy these things like, “Worst City in America to Eat,” or going abroad to find this useful sort of ranking: “Most Dangerous Bus Rides in Asia.”

How about if we wander back over to sports, where fans (and even teams) take these polls seriously.

Bigger schools sometimes use rankings to help in recruiting.

Football is a good example.

For instance, Washington State turned some heads (and rose in every poll) by thumping Texas Tech 37-16 last weekend.

The Cougs haven’t reached the loftiest heights so far, but they jumped up 10 spots to No. 63 in the most ambitious ranking of them all, The Athletic 134.

That’s correct.

The Athletic, which operates under the umbrella of the New York Times, actually ranks every FBS school — week to week, top to bottom.

If we give serious credibility to The Athletic 134, Wazzu will be an underdog on Saturday against Washington (No. 43) over at Lumen Field.

NOW, ANY sort of ranking that involves Washington State this year will be a strange beast.

I’m sure you know that Wazzu and Oregon State were left out in the desert while the other 10 members of the Pac-12 bolted for new conferences.

The lonely two, however, are still competing under the Pac-12 banner, and they’re trying like crazy to stitch the thing back together.

They have another year, until the end of the 2025 academic calendar, to find a minimum of eight members.

You can see that rankings in various sports have a lot more meaning this year than if everyone were just purring quietly along.

For instance, peeking at The Athletic 134 again, Wazzu looks pretty good compared to its unofficial partners in the Mountain West.

Just using this football ranking after two weeks, the only current Mountain West teams ahead of the Cougs are Boise State (31), UNLV (50) and Fresno State (53).

These positions don’t mean much in the second week of a season, when rankings can zoom up or down in a heartbeat.

For a while, we might as well be fascinated by truly meaningful polls: “North American Rivers Home to the Most Dangerous Snakes.”

Or we can simply be fascinated by straight statistics, like the number of people attacked by alligators in Florida each year.

You’ve got to be a dumb bunny to let a gator drag you off.

The football poll contains less idiots.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”