THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Learning to bet from my dad

My dad was born too soon.

The family lived in the San Francisco suburbs — all of us, until I left to spend some quality time courtesy of the U.S. Air Force.

There’s a spot-on reason by the way, for mentioning

the era we were together, and the little geographical note where we called home.

Why?

Well, my father was the best gambler I’ve ever known, and you can believe I’ve kept up the family tradition of meeting some brilliant characters.

My own resume might make you laugh.

I spent two years making a living by betting on greyhounds.

Long before that, I spent nights in downtown San Francisco (some college moonlighting) as a professional liar’s dice player.

Safe to say I met some real wizards myself, but I never crossed paths with anyone like my dad.

He had the classic two things going for him if want make more than you lose.

First, he was street wise, having working in the back rooms of Chinatown betting parlors when he was 18.

Or maybe 17.

Beyond that, he was a mathematical freak — working as a CPA and doing a whole lot of it in his head.

In other words, what I’ve learning about gambling, I learned from the best.

IT’S A shame that all these legal wagering businesses that have popped up everywhere weren’t around when Daddy Jack was in his prime.

I think we might ultimately have been reclassified from pleasant middle class to “comfy Mexican villa with full house staff and pool cleaner.”

Maybe even with a private plane.

If you know anything about gambling — on sports and horses, in particular — you could be asking a question now.

There were places my father could bet (legal and otherwise) back in the day, so why would he have needed DraftKings, Bet365, Penn Entertainment, Caesar’s, yada, yada, and all these multi-gazillion outfits counting their money now.

If it wasn’t hard finding a place to get a wager down in my dad’s salad days, it certainly isn’t difficult to invest in batter-by-batter in a World Series game in these times of fun and games.

You want to bet on whether Appalachian State will return its homecoming kickoff past the 27-yard line, hey … it’s available.

But this tsunami of wagering, and places to do it, isn’t what would have gotten my father — and some other very sharp gamblers I’ve met — fired up about the state of the business.

Oh, they’d have been thrilled by people and money washing into their world.

And it’s a lot.

A report by the American Gaming Association, released on March 28, shows that the US commercial gaming industry's collective revenue from casino games, sports betting, and iGaming was $5.82 billion for January 2023, representing a year-over-year increase of 4.9 percent.

Remember, that’s just legal industries reporting properly, as opposed to the billions heading to the Caribbean.

OK, WHAT makes it a better racket for gamblers these days?

Simple.

This explanation used to be true specifically of horse and greyhound races, but sheer volume and the battle for consumer cash has widen the net.

Just like Costco and Walmart, these businesses are scrapping for your money.

So, they’ll find ways to make it more attractive.

We can make this easier to understand.

Horse racing is almost entirely parimutuel wagering, where bettors are actually betting against each other.

All the money bet goes into a pool, the track takes a cut, and the rest of the cash is divided among the winners.

OK, now clever gamblers want has much money as possible in the “pool,” and as many bettors, too.

Most of the mob who bet on races or sports events have about as much success as Ippei Mizuhara, the infamous translator who lost $16 million of Shohei Ohtani’s cash.

However, GOOD bettors make a fatter profit is there’s more money in the pot, and their fellow bettors are mostly idiots.

More losers, more money for the winners.

It’s a shame they didn’t throw this gambling business together soon enough.

Sorry, Dad.

And for my dream villa with those waves lapping on the beach.

Sigh!

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”