THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Yo, tell us that story about the field goal again

Sometimes, you have to keep a promise. 

It doesn’t matter if the issue is what we’ll call, ahh, “repetitive journalism.” 

Or perhaps, more like you’d say to a pal on the street: “Yo, tell us that story again. 

“The one about the field goal.” 

Ohhh! 

That one. 

Like I said, it was promise — a serious bond. 

As serious as the Cubs winning Game 7 in the 2016 Series. 

Yep, THAT serious!  

The person to whom I made the pledge was Mike Patrick, who spent several centuries in charge as “honcho-with-a-cutlass” at The Press and several other Hagadone publications. 

It goes without saying that you wouldn’t trifle with a boss man like this dude, and if he chuckled madly at a story from your past, you would bow in defense. 

And feel greatly honored. 

Mister Mike first heard the “field goal story” more than 30 years ago, at a saloon in northern Arizona. 

In fact, it was a follow-up tale about a gentleman named Merle Blair. 

Both stories featured Blair’s ownership of a radio station in Kansas, and his decision to handle some sports play-by-play gigs by himself. 

That’s how it all started, with several of us exchanging yada-yada about sports on radio. 

MOVING years ahead now, Mike became captain of the newsroom here at The Press, while I had come aboard as a humble columnist. 

One afternoon, he mentioned that he had an idea. 

(He was gifted that way.) 

“Swede, I’ve got a plan for you,” he said, using my nickname that popped up that SAME night in Arizona, and has stuck through several presidential administrations. 

“Why not write some Sunday columns, telling stories from your past? 

“Readers would love to know about that radio guy in Topeka, no?” 

I was tempted to decline, but when Mike gets fired up, he could run a “Tush Push” from the 12-yard line. 

So, sure, I volunteered myself to share some giggles each Sunday — assuming I didn’t run out of material that amused Mike. 

OK, you know that the field goal story was the finale on that night in Arizona, and I wrote them in the same order for The Press a few years ago. 

Done. 

Um, not quite. 

Just days ago, out of nowhere, Mike came up with a stormer of a plan. 

Why not do the Sunday memories AGAIN, and add some new tales along the way? 

Well … heck, yes.  

What could be more fun?

Let’s introduce Merle Blair, radio station owner in Topeka, Kan. Wannabe play-by-play genius. 

It so happened that Merle’s station owned the rights to broadcast the football and basketball games played by Washburn University, an outstanding school right there in Topeka. 

Besides those games, Washburn can be quickly remembered quickly for two things. 

First, it’s the only municipally owned four-year university in the country. 

Second, the school’s teams are named the Ichabods (yes, really, in honor of the university founder, Ichabod Washburn). 

STORY NO. 1: Washburn actually had outstanding sports programs competing in NAIA, and won a couple of national titles. 

It’s still a small school, though, and plays neighboring basketball heavyweights like Kansas and K-State mostly for the income. 

Once in a while, though, Washburn (commonly called the Blues, not the ‘Bods) will be close for a half or so, and on one occasion, they simply refused to give up a small lead against Arkansas in Fayetteville. 

In the final two minutes, the Hogs were in serious trouble. 

Washburn handled the ball well and shot free throws as crisply as anyone in the nation, so a seven-point lead with 1:40 remaining, was, well, solid. 

“The Ichabods are hanging on,” howled Merle Blair. “John Waltz and Harold Thompson are exchanging passes at the top of the key. 

“We’re down to a minute and a half. Waltz to Harold in the corner. And he gets it back. 

“OH, MY GOD! 

“I’M AS NERVOUS AS A CUCUMBER!!” 

WE ALL were, Merle. 

A bunch of stressed-out cucumbers. 

And yes, the Ichabods went ahead and beat Arkansas. 

Now, let’s move on to some football drama. 

Washburn was on the road at Missouri Southern, down in Joplin. 

Cold, misty night. 

No offense produced by either team. 

Southern led 9-7 in the final seconds, but Washburn put together a drive — and boasted a solid placekicker, Russell Hill. 

Finally, time was ticking off and the Blues were as far as they could get. 

They ran one more pass play — a nice out pattern — to get a little closer and stop the clock. 

It was time for Hill to bang one through the fog. 

Over to you, Merle.  

“A 39-yard field goal will win it for Washburn, and this is inside Hill’s range. 

“He missed one earlier tonight, but that was from 50 yards, and into the wind. 

“Russell can keep the Ichabods unbeaten. They’ll be 6-0. 

“Now, from the right hash mark. 

“Here’s the snap. 

“It’s down. 

“It’s kicked. 

“It’s long enough!  

“It’s long enough!  

“It’s long enough! 

“It’s… 

“SHORT.” 

Email: scameron@cdapress.com 

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens. 

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”