'We have to ask the question about suicide'

COEUR d’ALENE — About five students in a class of 30 will think about attempting suicide. That’s a reality Keith Orchard of the Coeur d'Alene School District wants more people to consider.

“We’d like to make the conversation about suicide more open and honest. One out of 30 students will be injured seriously enough to require medical care for their attempt,” Orchard said. 

Emma Sharon and Melissa Sharon spoke as a child and parent who have dealt with the aftermath of a suicide attempt and how people pretending it couldn’t happen before and that it never happened after the fact sent ripples of impact out through their community.

“Suicide does not have a face, suicide can be anyone. On paper, I’m a high-achieving, high-functioning student,” Emma said. 

The reality of the stress and depression she was experiencing were not something she outwardly expressed to many people and when she was asked about it by her mother, she deflected.

Her parents threatened her with therapy in an attempt to get her to open up about what was troubling her.

Neither Emma nor her mother had the tools to handle a direct conversation about the pain and weight of things Emma was experiencing, and when she overdosed on over-the-counter medications accessible in her home, it was just the beginning of a long road back, if not to normalcy, but rather, a better balance for mental health and its barriers to communication.

“Nothing felt normal anymore,” Emma said. “Going back into school, I was immediately written off as unstable. I really needed someone in that group to advocate for my baseline. Without that, I truly believe I wouldn’t be here today.”

Melissa called for more mental health resources to be made available to the community and pointed out there are medical safeguards and other tools to add obstacles to teens experiencing suicidal ideation. 

“It takes a village and it’s not just a cute little phrase. None of us are immune. Mental health struggles do not discriminate,” Melissa said. 

Emma said the moment she realized she could take charge of her situation was a turning point for her long recovery process.

Emma urged the group to both seek out additional resources and give those struggling with mental health crises unconditional love and grace to help them be healthy. 

“You will grow, you will change. Everything changes over time,” she said.

Asking if someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts doesn’t mean you will contribute to those feelings if they exist.

“We have to ask the question about suicide,” Orchard said, adding that the statistics instead support the relief of some of the stresses and pressures weighing people down when the topic is directly confronted.

Suicide prevention is worth being uncomfortable with a conversation.

Fear of being judged or further hurt when dealing with mental health crises can cause individuals and families to retreat and avoid the stigma of bringing it up in social settings, but it’s only closing off avenues of help and support. 

“Shame is a liar and we can really think we’re alone and we’re not the only ones struggling. Do not be ashamed; you are not alone. Be the village for someone else,” Melissa said.

    Lake City High School student Emma Sharon talks about her experiences at a talk about teen suicide prevention.
  

    Parent Melissa Sharon urges fellow parents throw away shame in favor of having hard conversations with their children to try and prevent suicide.