Coming together in Coeur d'Alene

COEUR d’ALENE — Bob Perry has been going to Monday Night Dinners at Adam Schluter’s home for two years.

He plans to go back. 

“It's been probably the most refreshing thing I've done in a long time,” he said.

Perry loves sitting down with strangers, or even those he knows with different political views, and finding common ground.

“That's the beauty of it," he said.

Perry said that, simply put, it’s a way for community to come together.

“It would be nice if more people did that,” he said.

They’ll have their chance Monday night at McEuen Park when Schluter kicks off another season of Monday Night Dinners. People are invited to bring a side dish, enjoy an entree and perhaps have a beer while listening to music and getting to know folks they would otherwise not have met.

“We're trying to bring the whole city together,” Schluter said. “I moved to Coeur d'Alene because of the community, and I want to highlight that with this dinner and bring as many strangers together as we can.”

He remembers what it was like when he settled in Coeur d’Alene about eight years ago. It was a difficult time.

“I had just moved here without knowing a single person and shortly after, I went through a breakup and the first winter time. I was struggling a lot and, when I finally hit a wall, I decided to do something that terrified me,” he said.

What was that?

“To just walk around town, say hello to strangers and then ask them to have dinner with me.”

When he held the first dinner at his home, 11 people showed up. Those gatherings gradually grew to more than 200. On Monday, which will be the 78th Monday Night Dinner, Schluter is hoping for even more.

A photographer and journalist who has traveled the world, Schluter said close friendships have resulted from the dinners and, even more important, saved his life. He said he struggles with mental health.

“I do this because I need this,” he said.

It’s really about returning to the old-fashioned ways of people talking face to face, sharing stories and over time, building relationships.

“Something I’ve noticed that’s beautiful: When you sit like this you don’t really notice the things that divide you,” he said. “You realize you have so much more in common than you think, and you don’t focus on the little divisions.”

Schluter grew up St. Louis. He later moved to Los Angeles for his dream job as an agent. But he found working crazy long hours and having no real relationships wasn’t the life he wanted, so he moved to Mexico, where he surfed and lived off his savings.

“I just fell in love with the culture and the people,” he said.

But he returned to the workforce and landed a job traveling the Pacific Coast Highway and writing about great places to live. He covered 22,000 miles in 10 months.

When that gig wrapped up, he found his way to Coeur d’Alene. It's the first place he bought a home.

“I never left,” he said. "This community means the world to me."

The Monday Night Dinners were something he learned from his mom, who started them back home to unite her children. 

He plans to hold them every other Monday into October starting June 3 at his home, 1037 Third Street. Music starts at 5:30 and dinner is at 6. Suggested donation is $10. All donations go to musicians who perform at Monday Night Dinners.

Schluter said he hasn’t made a penny off Monday Night Dinners and even provides the entrees himself, firing up the barbecue for burgers and hot dogs.

While you might see people dancing, playing ping pong or kids blowing bubbles, this isn't just one big party.

"This is to have a community be together,” he said.

This is a familiar path for Schluter, who considers himself an introvert. He traveled the world for his project, "Hello From A Stranger."

It's just what it sounds like. He walked up to strangers and asked if he could take their photograph. His friendly smile and disarming demeanor opened doors.

He visited about 20 countries, took more than 1,000 portraits and had countless conversations with people he didn't know and posted them on his website.

"It ended up changing my life, and many other lives that I was fortunate enough to meet along the way," he wrote. 

It's continued with Monday Night Dinners.

The best part for Schluter is stepping back and watching people.

“I don’t want to be in the middle of it all. I want them to connect with each other,” he said. 

There are no hard rules, but the goal is no business, no politics, no phones. Nothing divisive. 

“We’re more than who you voted for or what you believe,” Schluter said. “You have a story, and I want to hear your story."