Criticism should build up, not tear down

A prominent New York critic was leaving the theater after a Broadway opening and met the producer in the lobby. The latter took one look at the critic's suit, which was rumpled as usual, and said with some annoyance, "That's a fine way to dress for my opening. Your suit looks as if you slept in it."

"It's no wonder," the critic replied, "I just woke up."

Touche! Criticism gets a double whammy.

Ask any manager what the least favorite part of their job is. Nine times out of 10, the answer will be when it becomes necessary to criticize an employee's work. This is a tough situation to be in anywhere, but especially at the office, where people can decide not to accept your advice and quit.

Criticism, even when offered as a helpful suggestion, is often unwelcome. It's hard to accept that your efforts are unappreciated or fail to meet expectations. Offering criticism to employees is a delicate task, but when done correctly, it can lead to growth and improvement.

One of my favorite sayings is, "No one ever kicks a dead dog," which means you have to be doing something to get criticized. My point is not to take criticism personally. When a coach or a friend or a boss is criticizing you, that usually means they really care, and even though it may not feel like it, they want to help you.

Pro basketball great LeBron James said, "I like criticism. It makes you strong."

First and foremost, remember that the goal of criticism is to improve performance, not belittle or demoralize. Keep the focus on the behavior or the outcome, not the person.

Prepare your feedback by being specific, timely and objective. Vague comments can be confusing. Be clear about what behavior needs to change and why. Offer feedback as soon as possible after the event. Waiting too long can make it seem less relevant or important. Stick to the facts and avoid letting personal feelings influence your comments.

Deliver your message effectively by choosing the right setting. A private, comfortable space is best for offering criticism. Never criticize in public. Make it clear that it is the action or result that is the issue, not the individual as a person. Give the employee a chance to respond. There may be factors you are unaware of that are affecting their performance.

I start with something positive, then address the area that needs improvement and conclude with positive reinforcement.

Encourage and support the employee. Don't just present the problem; help the employee find ways to improve. Check in to see how they are making changes. Offer ongoing support and guidance.

It is imperative to maintain a positive relationship. Let the employee know you believe they can improve and that you are there to support their success. Respect the privacy of the conversation to maintain trust.

Document what was discussed, including the steps the employee agrees to take to improve. This can help track progress and provide a reference for future evaluations.

The same rules apply when offering criticism to a group. When a project is off course, and the whole crew shares responsibility, address the problem with the entire group. Don't expect one or two to deliver the message. Schedule an update meeting if necessary.

Remember, the way you offer criticism can either inspire improvement or cause resentment. It is not just what you say, but how you say it that matters.

Former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said: "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things."

In the comic strip "Peanuts," Lucy, who constantly criticizes Charlie Brown, is one of my favorite characters because she always says exactly what is on her mind.

Peeved at Charlie, she once told him, "You, Charlie Brown, are a foul ball in the line drive of life."

She is just as tough on her little brother, Linus, who always has his security blanket clutched in one hand and his thumb resting safely in his mouth.

"Why are you always anxious to criticize me?" Linus asks Lucy.

"I just think I have a knack for seeing other people's faults," Lucy says.

"What about your own faults?" replies Linus.

Without hesitation, Lucy answers right back, "I have a knack for overlooking them."

Mackay's Moral: Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a person's growth without destroying the roots.

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Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.