How to communicate clearly

Bill was taking an aptitude test to become an insurance salesperson. Everything was going well until question 21. It read, "How far is the Earth from the moon?"

Bill turned to the examiner and said, "If you are expecting me to cover that territory, you can forget it!"

And that's how far too many conversations end — without letting the other party explain or clear the air.

Perhaps Bill would have found his dream career if he had asked for a little more information about that question. But misunderstanding derailed his chances of getting hired.

Eliminating misunderstandings requires clear communication, active listening and a proactive approach to sharing information. 

Clear communication requires being concise and specific, setting expectations and repeating key points. Use straightforward language and avoid jargon that might not be understood by everyone. Clearly outline what you expect from others and what they can expect from you. Emphasize important information to ensure that it is understood.  

Active listening entails giving others your full attention and not interrupting them while they are speaking. Repeat what you've heard to confirm that you've understood correctly and ask for clarification when needed. Recognize and address the emotional content of the communication, not just the factual material. Understand that others may have experience that affects how they respond on a personal level.

Proactive information sharing means providing context, documentation and follow-up. Offer background information when discussing a topic to verify everyone has the same understanding. Keep written records of decisions and agreements to refer to if needed. After meetings or discussions, send out summaries to confirm what was discussed and any next steps.

The effort expended in making certain that everyone understands each other is critical to the success of every project that requires the work of more than one person. Maintaining open lines of communication keeps projects moving toward the desired result. One glitch in the system caused by misunderstanding can spell disaster — wasted time and money, angry customers and mistrust among co-workers.

To avoid those outcomes, get ahead of the game. Begin by fostering a respectful work environment, from management to the mailroom. Terrific ideas and advice come from many sources. It's important to listen to the people who are charged with implementing the work or developing the product.

Encourage feedback and create a safe environment. Invite others to share their thoughts and concerns. Foster an atmosphere where people feel comfortable speaking up and asking questions.

Check for understanding. Ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer to gauge understanding. Pay attention to body language and facial expressions that may indicate confusion or disagreement.

The biggest communication problem people have is that we do not listen to understand; we listen to reply. Give everyone a chance to finish their statements before you offer your input. Imagine how you feel when someone cuts you off before you complete your thoughts. Be patient and respectful.

Misunderstandings, while often seen as setbacks, can actually be powerful learning tools. For example, they can provide insight into communication styles. People interpret information differently, which highlights the need to tailor your communication. They also help identify which parts of your message aren't getting through, allowing you to adjust your approach.

Misunderstandings can also strengthen relationships if handled correctly. Working through misunderstandings allows you to see things from another's point of view. They can also build trust between parties, as it shows commitment to the relationship.

Misunderstandings teach patience as you navigate through the process of clarification and understanding. They force you to be flexible and adapt your communication to different situations and individuals.

Every misunderstanding is a learning opportunity in disguise. Embrace them as chances to refine your communication skills and strengthen your relationships.

It all boils down to this: Choose what you say instead of saying what you choose. Clear communication can turn a misunderstanding into a meeting of minds.

Of course, maintaining a sense of humor helps you see the lighter side of misunderstandings. Sometimes they are so comical that a good laugh is the best response to the situation.

Here's an example: A traveling salesperson was dining at his favorite restaurant chain. However, the usual steak he ordered well-done was served rare. Irritated, he furiously motioned for the server.

As the server approached his table, the salesperson blurted out, "I said, 'WELL-DONE'!"

"Well, thank you," responded the server. "Your compliment is appreciated."

Mackay's Moral: Talk is cheap, but misunderstandings can be costly.

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Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.