MY TURN: Don't let ego, pride and control interfere with the mission
What are three things that hinder or destroy an organization or relationship? Answer: ego, pride and control. Nothing distorts a group’s mission more than a member placing their ego above the mission. A person’s identity can get tangled up in the purpose, and it’s hard to separate the two.
I find this happens to me. Take for example the attendance of Nosh & News. Every third Thursday, I host a gathering sponsored by a Republican women’s group. I interview individuals who are politically engaged with the purpose of inspiring others to get involved. Every month, I fret over how many people will attend. I post on social media, make announcements at meetings and send personal emails. I hate it when some other event is suddenly scheduled on the same night.
What am I so concerned about? Will people blame me if no one shows up? Will they think I didn’t try hard enough? That must be it. I think “they” won’t like me or think well of me. It’s natural to care what others think, it’s a sociological phenomenon, but my focus is wrong. Ego and pride distract, which results in a damaged morale.
Usually when an organization is thriving, there isn’t a problem. However, when escalating conflicts between members emerge, the three bedfellows of ego, pride and control could be the cause of friction. Name calling, grudge bearing and casting blame are symptoms that ego is in the way. Self-protection becomes a conflict of interest. When ego is continually threatened, the impulse is to quit. Even worse, the temptation to tear down raises its ugly head.
Control is a mirage. You think you have it when things are scheduled, planned and go your way. Then the power goes out, the flu goes around or someone drops the ball.
Years ago, I led a group of high school students in hosting events. It was akin to a student government club. We had planned a square dance. I arranged the venue, sent out emails, facilitated hanging posters around the school and confirmed the caller. Everything was set. The night of the dance, the venue manager forgot to unlock the gate to the parking lot. The caller forgot about the engagement and went out of town. As the kids started showing up to an event that was well-planned and now falling apart, I had lost control. Was it my fault? No. It was what it was. The evening ended up as a learning experience. It turned into a game night led by the students. They learned how to make lemonade when you’re given lemons.
From my understanding, history was made last weekend. Coeur d’Alene was the host of the 2024 Idaho Republican Convention. First time ever. Over the three-day event, Republican delegates, alternate delegates and guests came from all corners of the state to elect new leadership and debate platform positions, rules and resolutions. The general sessions were electrifying. Just like on TV, a crowd of people packed the floor of the Schuler Auditorium with names of every Idaho county on sticks beside seated delegates. Behind them were placards of the 44 legislative districts with their delegates. The alternate delegates, of which I was one, sat higher up. Lastly, guests occupied the peanut gallery. The sessions were packed with presentations, nominations, speeches and cheering. And as necessary, business was conducted using Robert’s Rules of Order. I can’t imagine trying to get so many people to behave without it.
As with any contest, there is a winner and a loser. Each believes they are the best candidate. Putting your face and reputation out there is risky. I applaud all who take that risk. Those with benevolent motivations are to be commended. A true test of a person’s character is how they deal with triumph and failure.
It is painful to watch battles within a party. Struggles for power are often detrimental. The Republican Party seems to be the worse. Don’t let ego, pride and a desire to have your way interfere with the mission. Let us unite. Let us continue to protect our God-given rights, promote our state’s sovereignty, and locally, ensure Kootenai County stays the great place to live and raise a family.
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Jenny Holmes is a Post Falls resident.