The key to confidence

A group was hiking through the mountains when they found themselves engulfed by smoke from a forest fire. The smoke obscured all landmarks. They were starting to panic when one of them said confidently, "Follow me."

Linking hands to stay together, they followed the leader as she led them on a path through the smoke to safety.

One of the hikers asked her, "How did you know the way out?"

"I didn't," she said, "but I knew we were goners if we didn't get out of there, so I set a course and stuck to it."

The leader had no more knowledge and skill than any of the other hikers, but she had self-confidence.

Self-confidence is a fundamental component of success in various aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. It is the belief in your own abilities and judgment that allows you to approach challenges with a positive mindset and tackle them effectively. Confidence isn't about being infallible or knowing everything; it is about trusting that you can handle the situation and learn from it, regardless of the outcome.

"Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true," Walt Disney opined. "This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four Cs. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence."

It starts with believing in yourself, that you are capable. This belief acts as the foundation upon which you build your skills and tackle life's challenges. 

A confident person communicates with clarity and purpose, which in turn inspires trust and respect from others. Confidence is not just about feeling good; it is about being able to perform at your best. It is the difference between freezing under pressure and rising to the occasion.

Seeking guidance from mentors and being open to feedback can help you improve and build confidence in your abilities.

Years ago, I was mentoring a young salesperson. The individual was talented, but extremely nervous and unsure of himself. He had all the technical knowledge needed to succeed, but lacked the belief in his own abilities to close deals.

The turning point happened eventually when I convinced him to have faith in his abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

We worked together on a strategy to build his confidence, which included preparation, role-playing, small wins and feedback. He started to prepare meticulously for every sales call, knowing his product inside and out. We role-played various sales scenarios, which helped him anticipate questions and objections. He focused on achieving small wins and celebrating them, which built his confidence over time. He actively sought feedback and used it constructively to improve his approach.

So, what are the best ways to build self-confidence? 

Like any skill, confidence is developed through consistent practice. Put yourself in challenging situations and learn how to navigate them. 

Preparation is key to self-confidence. You can't expect to feel confident if you haven't put in the work required to succeed. This means studying, practicing and preparing for the challenges you will face. When you are well prepared, confidence follows naturally, because you know you have done everything possible to ready yourself for the task at hand.

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. The more you believe in your own abilities and prepare accordingly, the more confidently you will navigate life's challenges.

Remember the famous words of first lady Eleanor Roosevelt, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."

Developing resilience and the ability to bounce back from setbacks is crucial. Confidence is as much about handling failure as it is about celebrating success.

Confidence should be tempered with humility to avoid arrogance. It is important to stay grounded and recognize that there is always room for growth.

Confidence is silent; insecurities are loud. It is not just about the knowledge you have, but also the belief in your ability to use that knowledge effectively.

Mackay's Moral: Inhale confidence. Exhale doubt.

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Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.