Sholeh: What people with disabilities want you to know

What is and isn’t a disability is not a matter of debate. It is, however, a matter of perception when applied to social interactions. Such misperceptions are what disability awareness months are designed to correct. 

July is Disability Pride Month. Originating in 1990 when Congress passed the Americans with Disabilities Act extending basic civil rights to people with disabilities, Disability Pride Month is a time for the disability community to embrace who they are and as they are, to reclaim visibility and uplift one another.

According to data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and annual American Community Surveys, 13-27% of Americans of all ages have some kind of disability. The wide range represents variances year by year, what types of disabilities are measured and what populations are included in statistics. 

Disabilities can be partial or total. They can be physical, behavioral, emotional, sensory or developmental. Many are some combination of those. Most are poorly understood by non-disabled persons.

Using the latest available Census data, the CDC reports 14% of disabilities are cognitive, 12% mobility, 6% hearing, 5% vision and 11% involve independent living or self-care. 

Disabilities tend to be outside one’s control, but some health issues increase risk or can aggravate them. People who are obese are about 30% more likely to have a disability and those who smoke are twice as likely. With high costs, as many as one in four people with a disability can’t afford needed health care.

Everyone wants to feel a sense of dignity, respect and independence. To that end, according to disability organizations, people with disabilities would like others to know:

Not all disabilities are visible. Nor are their difficult side effects necessarily visible every day in every circumstance. 

If someone says they’re disabled, please listen. No one should have to lay out their medical history just to be listened to or accepted. Never respond, “but you look fine.”

No one is “too young” to be disabled.

Sometimes an intention to be helpful is simply reductive. Please don’t suggest “cures” or solutions for a disability you know nothing about. (“Have you tried yoga? Acupuncture? Dr. X’s miracle supplement?”)

Focus on the person, not the disability. Everyone wants to be seen, respected as an equal.

Please don’t stare.

Empathy is appreciated, but not pity.

Before trying to help, please ask. It may not be needed, or what’s needed may be something different.

Speaking of help, North Idaho has several nonprofits, agencies and other organizations dedicated to supporting people with disabilities and their families. If you need help, please email; I’ll do my best to connect you with potential sources. 

“My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.” — Stephen Hawking

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Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Email sholeh@cdapress.com.