The Exhausted Dad: Ferry we roll along
The first time I took my kids on a ferry in the Puget Sound, I told them about some unwritten rules of the sea.
1) No “I’m flying, Jack!” allowed
2) No “I’m king of the worlding” allowed*
*Exception: You CAN recite the lyric from The Lonely Island track, “I’m on a Boat” that goes, “I’m the king of the world on a boat like Leo, if you’re on the shore, then you’re sure not me-oh.”
Despite visiting the Seattle area multiple times over the past several years, my kids had never ridden on a ferry until this summer. Even my wife can’t remember the last time, if ever, she’d been on one. She considered it a bucket list item on our most recent trip because, well, she got her swim trunks and flippie-floppies, and she didn’t want to waste her summer at Kinko’s straight flipping copies.*
*Unfortunately, I can’t get the Lonely Island song out of my head, so you’re going to suffer through basically all the clean lyrics in the song.
I remember my mom used to take me on the Seattle ferries as a kid. For most people who live there, the ferries are a literal means to an end. Many won’t even get out of their cars to soak in the gorgeous Pacific Northwest view.*
*To be fair, I only ever rode on the ferry in the summer, on the nicest of Seattle days. Hey Ma, if you could see me now … arms spread wide on the starboard bow!
On our mini-vacation to Seattle, after dropping a bunch of money at T-Mobile Park, we needed an affordable family-friendly activity. Turns out, if you don’t take a car onto the boat, all kids ride for free, and an adult two-way ticket only costs $6.
We took the Mukilteo to Clinton route, and the entire experience felt new to me. The Mukilteo Ferry Terminal seemed brand new, and it had this giant elevated walkway on the boat that made it seem like we were boarding a spacecraft.
All my kids loved seeing the giant boat approach and they were especially excited to cross onto the boat via the “space” entry. On that leg of the trip, we rode on a newer boat, and three of the four kids barely noticed we were moving (at least until we went outside at the front of the boat).
My oldest son, 10, however, struggled to find his sea legs. Just a couple years ago, he was a thrill seeker, begging to go on big roller coasters at Silverwood. But the sea, as many know, is a different beast.
Even though the boat was new, the inside passenger area triggered some random memories from my childhood. For example, the vending machine placement looked exactly like one I remember getting some candy out of one time. I’m sure my mom will be happy to know that my most vivid memory from all those times she took me on a ferry was that one time I bought some “boat Skittles.”
While my wife and I took turns sitting inside with my nervous son, the rest of us went outside on the bow to get blasted with the sea breeze. Even my 7-year-old son, still a little guy who doesn’t like the shape of his own shadow, loved standing at the front of the boat, busting five knots, with wind whipping out his coat.*
*Sorry again.
After exploring the beach near the Clinton dock, we rode back on an older vessel, and its vending machine looked EXACTLY like the one with those unforgettable boat Skittles. We rode at the front again, enjoying the incredible views, even my oldest son warmed up to the experience and enjoyed himself (after he decided the boat wasn’t going to sink).
On the way back, we saw a couple teenagers taking pictures and making videos of themselves at the front, raising their arms out like Kate Winslet and hollering, “I’m king of the world!”
My youngest daughter was furious.
“Hey, you said saying, ‘I’m king of the world’ was illegal!”
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and parent to four kids, ages 7-13. He is tired.
Akiva Schaffer, left, and Andy Samberg of The Lonely Island perform on stage at the Oscars on Feb. 22, 2015, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.