Friends share memories of Coeur d'Alene's Barb Smalley

The world becomes a little smaller when certain people leave it.

To her many friends and the community members who knew her, Barb Smalley — who was 67 when she died in her Coeur d'Alene home July 5 after a long, fierce fight with cancer — was one of those people.

"God, I loved that woman," Theresa Whitlock-Wild said Wednesday. "My husband and I are just absolutely devastated. She was such an amazing person."

Whitlock-Wild and Smalley met in 2015, after Whitlock-Wild's husband, Matt Wild, was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a progressive neurological disorder. The couple quickly founded the Matt's Place Foundation, a nonprofit to help people with ALS, and Smalley soon became a board member and dear friend.

"I’ve never seen a woman with so much energy and so much passion for her community," Whitlock-Wild said.

She recalled how Smalley kept a loose-leaf notebook to organize information as she coordinated events for the foundation.

"It was an absolute mess," Whitlock-Wild said with a chuckle. "But she kept it all together."

She said she loved Smalley's infectious smile and laughter, and how she "always looked so damn classy."

"We would do photos and she would grab the phone," Whitlock-Wild said. "She wanted to be sure she looked good."

Smalley worked in the advertising department at the Coeur d'Alene Press, then as the development director of St. Vincent de Paul North Idaho before she retired in 2022.

She met graphic designer Becky Lee when she first started at The Press. Lee and Smalley, along with fellow advertising representative Patty Vogt, became a trio of besties. Lee shared that she and "Barbarino and Patty Wagon Vogt would go to Patty's cabin in Harrison every summer for years and danced, laughed, stayed up all hours and talked about God, shoes, music, love and men."

"Sometimes we went two times in a year," Lee said.

She described Smalley as "the most compassionate and generous beautiful person ever known to mankind."

"She always made everyone around her feel important and everything was going to be just fine," Lee said. "That's why she had so many very good friends."

She said Smalley adored her husband, Marty, who died in 2008.

"He was a big bundle of love, and she loved him so much!" Lee said. "I learned many things from her, but the most important was how to love unconditionally and keep seeing the humor in life. What a beautiful lady."

Smalley worked with St. Vincent de Paul Executive Director Larry Riley for over two years. He said the nonprofit doesn't function without financial support, and Smalley was one of the pistons that kept the engine firing so St. Vinny's could continue its work.

She was a friendly face of the organization with a servant's heart, he said.

"She was out there, unrelenting in her passion for the company, communicating our cause and our mission," Riley said. "She had such a dynamic personality, and her last two years proved that she was a fighter."

That fighting spirit came through in her work, he said.

"Barb Smalley was a hard person to say no to," he said. "I haven’t met a person that didn't immediately warm up to Barb. She had a gift and a touch that was memorable and authentic."

Numerous friends and loved ones shared memories and kind words on social media, remembering Smalley for her courage, dignity, faith, service, optimism and deep love for her community and family.

Smalley's daughter, Jessica McGreal of Hayden, said all of her mom's surviving 10 siblings will be traveling to Coeur d'Alene to be at her funeral, as well as stepchildren and grandchildren from Missouri and Boise.

"Her friends can't seem to leave me alone, checking in on our family — their heartache is evident," McGreal said. "They have been corresponding with one another trying to lift each other's spirits, as Barb would have done."

Although Smalley withdrew from her community work as she fought cancer the past two years, McGreal said the messages she has been receiving tells her how Smalley is missed by all.

"It feels we are all lifting our chins high and smiling — the Barb style — but no longer whole," McGreal said.

She said her mom never stopped fighting the cancer, nor did she sign up for hospice as doctors suggested.

"She wasn't afraid to die and recognized God's plan," McGreal said. "She said, 'I'm just not ready to go yet' and wanted to go out fighting. An ultimate warrior."

She said her mom always said she had no regrets.

"I'd like her family and friends to know that," McGreal said. "She was a genuinely happy woman, even when so very sick."

In a June 9 social media post, Smalley wrote that it had been two years since she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic lymphoma and one year since she had a brain tumor removed, which caused her right facial nerve to droop. 

"I have always lived my life to the fullest so no regrets, and I encourage you to do likewise," she wrote. "I am so grateful for the love and support from my family and friends. My second grandson came during this time which shows the beautiful circle of life."

A memorial mass will be held at 11 a.m. Monday at St. Pius X Catholic Church, 625 E. Haycraft Ave., Coeur d’Alene. A reception will be held at the church following mass. 

Donations in Smalley's memory may be made to Matt’s Place Foundation, P.O. Box 3673, Coeur d’Alene, ID 83816. 

    Barb Smalley and daughter Jessica McGreal, sporting their Matt's Place gear. Smalley died from cancer July 5. A memorial mass will be held at 11 a.m. Monday at St. Pius X Catholic Church.
  

    Smalley
  

    Barb Smalley and grandson Louis McGreal share a happy moment in June 2021.