THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: As we wait for the Mariners to acquire a hitter ... or two ... or three ...

The Mariners are committing the most grievous sin in professional sports.

They’re boring.

You can find a bucket of other words that will get you to the same place.

They’re tedious.

Seriously, this team provides as much excitement as a group of sleepwalkers on an outing from some sort of institution.

Wait.

I’m being slightly unfair.

The Mariners’ pitchers really ARE fun to watch.

They’re also the only reason in a galaxy full of baseball seasons why Seattle is 49-43 and, magically, two games ahead of Houston in the AL West.

The Astros, by the way, aren’t very good and have been overwhelmed by injuries — yet using the famous “eye test” to check on both teams, you have to think it’s just a matter of time before the two teams trade places.

In fact, Texas has been dreadful (and also a victim of multiple injuries), but has crept to within six games of the Mariners.

At its present pace, it’s easier to picture Seattle finishing third than actually winning the division.

Yes, yes, they WILL trade for a hitter (or two) before the July 30 trade deadline — but really, they need a full platoon of new weapons to scare anyone.

TODAY’S rumor involves Cincinnati infielder Jonathan India, who is a decent major league player.

India cannot be worse than most of the hitters the Mariners are running out there now, but he’s never going to turn up on a Hall of Fame ballot.

Even more depressingly, he’s just one (average) bat.

Seattle needs four or five, at the minimum.

It’s almost hilarious to think that the Mariners front office spent this past offseason with two goals.

First, they wanted to cut down on the embarrassing number of strikeouts that haunted last season’s team.

Second, they wanted to “lengthen” the lineup, somehow giving opposing pitchers more legit hitters to fear up and down the batting order.

So, how’s all that working out?

Well, on the strikeouts, your swinging, slashing M’s are way, way WORSE than that gang you suffered to watch a year ago.

This team will not only break their own MLB record for whiffs, but smash it to pieces.

Here’s some baseball gospel: It’s considered a bad day at the office if you see 10 or more strikeouts in the box score.

Yet the 2024 Mariners are on pace to manage what was once unthinkable — actually AVERAGING double-digit strikeouts per game for a full season.

With six games remaining until the All-Star break, the Mariners are stuck on 10.3 strikeouts (950 in 92 games).

That hopeless inability to make any contact at all is how you lose games like that 5-4 fiasco to Toronto on Sunday.

The Mariners left the bases loaded in the eighth, ninth and 10th innings without scoring until the Jays finally put them out of their misery.

Nightmares like that are becoming way too common, and they’re a huge part of the reason Seattle is 7-14 over its last 21 games.

When you hit .217 as a team (yep, bottom of MLB), you’re headed backwards in a hurry.

You can’t ask the pitching staff to throw shutouts every night.

IT’S TRULY sad to think that the goal for this year was to build up the offense.

The Mariners have a raft of hitters rising quickly through the minor leagues (arguably more than any other organization), so it seemed like a decent plan to find a few impact bats for this year, and maybe 2025.

After that, Seattle should boast a homegrown offense that can bash.

I used the word “sad” just a minute ago, and it’s SO appropriate when you consider a pitching staff that should be around for a while, with that army of young hitters a couple of years away.

Still.

The Mariners could honestly be World Series contenders right now if they had just plugged a few holes with guys who can hit.

I mean, they’re actually leading the West (they ARE, check it out) despite an offense that rarely hits the ball hard, or at all.

Oh, and those hitters they went out to find after last year’s 88-win disappointment?

Give the Mariners credit for finding Luke Raley, who has speed and power, and plays with an infectious enthusiasm that has won a few games.

After that … nada.

Jorge Polanco is hitting .189 and he’s left a village of runners on base.

Mitch Haniger (.209) is no longer physically fit enough to make a difference.

Mitch Garver (.179, 92 strikeouts) hits an occasional home run, but pitchers can punch him out in every crucial situation.

Oh, and throw in the mystery of Julio Rodriguez’s bat taking the year off — along with J.P. Crawford and Ty France adding almost nothing.

This is a truly terrible offense.

Sheesh, there must be help out there someplace.

Umm.

What’s Kolten Wong doing these days?

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”