THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Seahawks face decisions with head coach — and quarterback

Math class today, boys and girls.

This business could get a little complicated, too — although we’re going to stop short of worrying about the space-time continuum.

It would be fun to puzzle out something that would have given Einstein a bit of thinking over lunch, though.

You know, like how much of a dead-cap hit might the Chiefs have to take for the 2024 season if Taylor Swift (along with her billion-plus in petty cash) surprisingly decided on free agency?

No, I’m not SAYING that’s going to happen — Travis Kelce is cool enough to pull off a relationship for the ages — but I thought we should warm up with some math drills that fall into the serious headache category.

Like the theory of relativity, you know?

Seriously, the MIT grads who work at each NFL team, with the sole gig of keeping track of cap space (and how it can go up in flames) could do humanity a favor by forgetting pro football and working on climate change.

I’m only kidding a little bit.

You cannot be a doofus and understand what’s happening in an NFL huddle.

Or in the front office — but we’ll get to that in a minute.

THINK I’M kidding?

It took Google about 30 seconds to find some key elements in a book called, “A Beginner’s Guide to Football,” and one of the chapters explains how play calls get from a coach’s microphone to a quarterback’s helmet to (hopefully) 10 other players.

To make things as easy as possible, the author provides a BASIC play call — which, yep, tells you right away that plays generally are going to be a lot more convoluted.

It might be easier to learn Japanese.

OK, here’s your simple, ordinary call, which the coach has to scream into the mic just to drown out those 70,000 fans who are going nuts.

“Green Right X Shift to Viper Right 382 X Stick Lookie.”

Got it?

Actually, I’m just hoping to make you chuckle, because the main message today sounds a lot easier than your average play call — but in real life, it’s SO much more complicated.

And the future of your franchise can depend on it.

The magic number in our exercise, which we’ll name “Save the Seahawks,” is 14.

That represents the number of teams that qualified for the NFL playoffs. 

The group has now been shaved to four, after last weekend’s dramatics — but for our discussion, it’s probably better that we stick with those 14, or maybe eight (the teams that reached their conference semifinals).

What each of the eight have in common is a coach who is decent, or better, and a quarterback who is among the very best in the game.

We KNOW they have these tools, because you can’t get to a weekend or two from the Super Bowl without them.

In fact, of the final eight teams this season, all but the 49ers (Brock Purdy) have a quarterback drafted in the first round.

SEATTLE sits outside all the current festivities, looking in unhappily at those teams that pushed people around.

I used that phrase on purpose, because the Seahawks (despite finishing 9-8) missed the playoffs after being manhandled at the line of scrimmage.

So.

The Hawks need a new coach for the first time since 2010 — that search is ongoing — and perhaps they will want a quarterback, as well.

Statistics and the “eye test” suggest that all of the QBs that played last weekend are better than Geno Smith.

Smith has two more years on his contract, but no guaranteed money — which means he can be cut.

However, it would have to happen by Feb. 16.

If Smith is on the roster on that date, his base salary of $12.7 million for the 2024 season becomes guaranteed.

Smith is also due a $9.6 million bonus if he is on the roster on March 18.

It’s logical that the new coach would like a hand in the QB decision (last year’s backup, Drew Lock, is a free agent), which puts some time pressure on the coaching hire.

It’s possible, though, that GM John Schneider, who will hire the coach, already has decided on Smith.

Or someone else.

Seattle drafts 16th, and does not have a second-round pick to trade.

GENO IS actually in a good spot to be the backup (if HE feels that’s a good spot), since he missed several incentives in ’23, slashing his salary pretty dramatically.

At least the reduced contract would be there for the taking.

Indeed, you might call it ironic if Schneider decided to reverse roles, offering Lock enough money to stay put, with Smith returning to the No. 2 job.

As for the coaching situation, we’ll take a long look at the Hawks’ options later this week — assuming they haven’t hired someone like well-known candidates Dan Quinn or Mike Vrabel in the next day or two.

One thing I can tell you now, just knowing Schneider and hearing Jody Allen’s comments concerning Carroll’s successor.

They aren’t worried about whether the next coach’s background is offense or defense.

The Seahawks want forthright leadership, someone who will carry forward the culture that Carroll built.

That family vibe is admired throughout the NFL, and neither Allen nor Schneider wants to see it change.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”