THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Welcome to the merry-go-round of coaches — and those who actually wanted to stay

Why would anyone choose to be a coach?

That is, giving up any kind of sane life to spend days, weeks and months at the mercy of a scoreboard?

And.

At the college level these days, factor in those endless hours at the mercy of 17-year-olds with limos full of agents.

So, you’ve got a few cash boxes stashed away for an NIL raid, grabbing someone in the transfer portal?

Well, guess what?

There’s another school with more.

A longtime hoops coach spent time whining on the phone the other day.

“Why can’t we just go back to old-fashioned cheating?” he said.

“It was so much simpler.”

Geographically, we’re right in the middle of coaching madness these days, what with Pete Carroll tossed out by football guru Jody Allen after 14 successful years with the Seahawks.

The chaos of hiring a successor has begun.

Meanwhile, U-Dub golden boy Kalen DeBoer has packed up and headed for Alabama after his long and loyal tenure on Montlake.

What was it, decades?

Oh, that’s right.

IT WAS two years coaching someone else’s players, a few miracles produced by Michael Penix Jr.’s left arm (in his sixth year of college football), and DeBoer is suddenly off to replace Nick Saban.

Yes, THAT Nick Saban.

DeBoer was coaching Fresno State in 2021, but clearly he enrolled in Lincoln Riley’s “Pathway to Cashing In” online business course.

So.

This time.

The chaos of seeking a successor ended almost before rumors could start, as Washington reeled in Arizona’s Jedd Fisch. 

Fisch’s resume doesn’t exactly put you in mind of Bear Bryant, but hey, is UW really a massive job?

Or did it just look that way for five minutes, courtesy of Michael Penix Jr. and Rome Odunze?

Actually, when you look around, a pretty fair chunk of the open college positions come with new conferences attached to the paperwork.

Or, in the case of Wazzu and Oregon State, there are NO conference attachments.

For now.

The whole coaching picture is a headache — both doing it and hiring somebody for the gig — but there ARE moments that make you smile on the trip home.

Washington State basketball coach Kyle Smith loses most of his key players every year — off to the NBA or the transfer portal.

Smith has to scratch around and rebuild a roster each season, a group that can somehow complete in the, uh, Pac-2 until Wazzu has a permanent home.

That’s why shocking wins over then-No. 8 Arizona (now No. 12) last weekend are such a reward for Smith, his staff, and players who (mostly) were not in any demand.

Prior to beating the Cats, Wazzu rolled USC on the road — a particularly nice victory since Smith lost starter DJ Rodman to the Trojans in the portal last off season.

You know, I wouldn’t blame Smith if a job came open in the Big 12 or SEC, if he had a connection with the athletic director — and packed his bags to head off for a nice raise.

I mean, coaches are entitled to make a living like anyone else.

And get a decent night’s sleep, on top of it.

ON THE other hand, there’s something very cool about coaches who stick and stay — turning down more money and more prestige, slogging through the transfer portal, tip-toeing along with the NIL, and all the rest of it.

Mark Few and Saint Mary’s Randy Bennett both could be making bigger bucks by now, and be sitting on a higher tier of coaching royalty than they’ve already reached.

Hey, the hassles of running programs in this era have driven a lot of big names off to their summer beach houses (Roy Williams, Mike Krzyzewski, now Saban from the football throne).

Kansas’ Bill Self has had multiple heart issues, and may not stay in the wars much longer.

On that list of coaches willing to stay the course, we HAVE to include Carroll, who argued his case with the Seahawks ownership — but couldn’t convince them to keep him in charge.

Two coaching giants, Carroll and Bill Belichick, are both over 70 yet WILL work again if they can find jobs.

Bet on it.

Coaching in the pros comes with less migraines that college challenges these days — but that doesn’t make it a cinch.

Will 20-something linebackers and wide receivers still listen to Carroll and Belichick?

They should, but that doesn’t mean they will.

Most players now spend more times with their agents than their coaches.

The whole, crazy world of sports sometimes seems to have lost connection to common sense.

Fits right in with society.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”