Social media bans: Right or wrong?

When someone waves the freedom flag with near-religious fervor, then advocates policies which restrict free choice, I cry foul.

When one-party-dominant legislatures do the same, I get nervous. We can argue philosophy until our throats run dry and it doesn’t mean much, but law alters society and by extension, us. Whether for better or worse is the question.

So when Florida’s Legislature passed a ban last week on kids under 16 having (or continuing) social media accounts, complete with penalties and parental restrictions, I cried foul. Do I want my grandkids spending more time on social media than with people, with all associated risks? Of course not. I want to protect them from a lot of things, but banning by law seemed like overkill in an arena which should remain personal or family choice.

And let’s be realistic: How are we going to stop them? The average kid is a computer and smartphone expert before they’re in middle school. My toddler grandson knows how to scroll with his finger (just by observing, apparently) and he’s not even allowed to use a phone.

The average family is highly dependent, relying on phones and social media apps to shop, communicate, monitor and share information regularly if not daily. Schools, clubs and sports teams use them to keep updated and announce events.

Extricating everyone under 16 from those connections would be complicated, controversial and time consuming. Suddenly penalizing them for using what the average kid is dependent upon practically, not just socially, seems extreme.

Yes, like so many things we let our kids do, there are risks. Watching my son play football, I was terrified of injury. When a teammate suffered a serious one, no one suggested banning junior tackle.

Then again …

I’m going to get personal here and tell you that I can’t believe I’m saying this. While I have come to hate smartphones and how they seem to have negatively impacted so many aspects of human feeling and interaction, while literally every day I rue their interruptions in my life and relationships, I have never been one for bans on individual behavior, as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else.

It’s a slippery slope to dystopia.

But when I consider the mounting, overwhelming data on how social media and smartphone addiction are changing all of us, and worse, how that is impacting brains while they’re still developing, I waver.

And I wonder: Is that more to blame for how divided, angry and distrustful, and out-of-control intolerant we’ve become than I’ve given it credit for (and I give it a lot of credit)?

Years ago, the American Pediatric Association, American Psychological Association and other medical authorities recommended limits on both social media and screen time to improve health and relationships. Anecdotally, adult writers and others have described positive personal and health outcomes from ditching smartphones for a day, or three.

They feel better physically. Their moods improve. They get more done. Their partners and families are happier.

Multiple studies over the last decade or so have correlated children’s levels of depression, low self-esteem, and feelings of “struggling” with smart phone use, finding higher rates the earlier kids start using them. The latest charted 40% to 80% of young adults now aged 18-24 struggling with such feelings almost daily, with the high end representing those who had smartphones/access at age 6 (New York Times/Sapien Labs).

Depression and stress practically wired into the brain becoming the rule, not the exception, makes it a chronic health threat. Higher rates of suicidal feelings make it severe. Both mean we aren’t talking just kids, but young workers, parents, and near-future leaders.

The life of society at large.

I could go on but if you Google “smart phone social media impacts study” you’ll get dozens of examples of solid research indicating it’s as bad or worse than I’ve written here. Not to mention online bullying, shaming, fraud and identity theft, the unreality of social media that paints things not as they are but as others want us to see them, and the scariest: those who lure and prey on kids online.

It pains me to say this, but maybe Florida is onto something. Not as they’ve done it; it’s a thorny and unwisely drafted statute. How will Meta and X figure out who’s using an account illegally in Florida one day and legally in Idaho the next? How can someone monitor parents or older siblings at home (especially with kids more tech-savvy), or teachers at school with legitimate, positive uses for these sites?

Frankly, no matter what current legislatures do, when today’s youth replace us in power — or finally start voting in bloc, it’ll be undone anyway.

(Did you notice something? It’s possible to feel strongly about an important issue and yet admit the other side has a point. How about that.)

Perhaps there is some middle ground. Recommendations and agreed-upon policies, mutually supported by school districts and cooperative parents alike. New habits. Firm rules limiting access, with an understanding that kids also get positive uses from social media, and some access is realistic. Working respectfully together, regardless of feelings or political lines in the sand, for a common cause everyone wants: healthy kids.

Once upon a time, there was life without smartphones. Kids, table mates, people waiting for a bus, everyone talked to one another in person instead of staring at a screen.

We were happier then. We could focus and think better, without all those interruptions, popups, and addictive scrolling. And, dare I say this, we got along much better without the virtual fence to hide behind and the biased feed mirroring our self-focus.

We can’t go back, but perhaps we could go forward better. And, loath though I am to admit this, perhaps that’s going to take a strong push.

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Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Email sholeh@cdapress.com.