THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: So, what's next for these Cougs?

I’m dizzy.

Part of it might be Addison the cat running an Olympic 1,500 meters around the place.

Mostly, though, it’s the fact that you’ve got to do handstands and wake up three times in the middle of the night just to keep up with the news.

I mean, wasn’t Jake Dickert fighting to keep John Mateer at Washington State 10 minutes ago?

Dickert told the world: “Their success (Mateer and Cam Ward before him) proves our process is working.”

Jake blew kisses at the Cougar Collective for the heroic effort to keep Mateer and some of his teammates on the Palouse.

So, now I wake up for my 4 a.m. coffee, replacing the stale 2 a.m. coffee, and discover that Dickert has bolted, too.

Wake Forest, eh?

Wazzu has lost so many players and coaches to portals and new gigs that you have to wonder if it would be prudent to bail out of the Holiday Bowl.

Marshall did it, dropping out of the Independence Bowl due to wholesale defections.

Except.

What about the kids who decided to stay?

There are plenty of young men who came to WSU to play football and get an education, and are quite happy with the arrangement.

IS IT fair to pull the rug out from under the players who want to bang heads with Syracuse on Dec. 27?

No.

At this exact moment, as I sip my 11th cup of coffee and keep an eye on the portal, Wazzu is planning to play in San Diego two days after Christmas.

Should they turn up?

The Cougs will have new coaches and a new quarterback, but hey, it’s still football and they’ll have fun.

On the other hand, stand by for more breaking news.

This is college football and the portal is wide open, so another wave of players could be heading for Maryland, Hawaii or Guam.

The Cougs could be so thin for the bowl game that it might be physically dangerous.

Fatigue leads to injuries.

That was why Marshall decided to skip the bowl on Dec. 28.

It was a tasty match-up, too, with AAC champ Army (11-2) facing a Marshall team (10-3) that won the Sun Belt title on Dec. 7.

Since then, however, Marshall (the Washington State of the East) has lost 25 players to the portal.

Obviously, the main reason for dumping the bowl game was to protect the remaining players.

However, there have been calls for some sort of penalty for teams that bail out.

The real problem is the timing of the transfer portal, which opens right after conference championship games.

That’s weeks before the zillion bowl games, causing chaos at schools like Wazzu and Marshall — places where players and coaches get known for their success, then head out for brighter lights.

And more money.

There are Big Ten and Southeastern Conference schools with fat, rich collectives circling smaller programs like vultures, and who can blame the kids for finding better situations.

It’s tough to blame the players, or even coaches who have a chance to take care of their families with more handsome salaries — and longer-term contracts.

It’s hard to find fault, but it’s still a mess.

CAN WE think of an answer?

AAC commissioner Tim Pernetti stood behind Army, his conference champ that got left at the altar, just as you’d expect.

“This situation emphasizes a significant challenge impacting college football,” Pernetti told The Athletic. “The timing of the transfer portal and coaching carousel enables this behavior.

“We should consider legislation that requires programs that accept invitations and commit to bowl games to play the games or be subject to consequences for the impact it has on their opponent.”

Wazzu, which has suffered 22 defections from the squad (and lost four coaches), seems to be standing firm.

So far.

WSU athletic director Anne McCoy said that defensive line coach Pete Kaligis would be in charge of the Cougs for the Holiday Bowl.

She didn’t sound much like withdrawing from the game, either.

“This team has worked so hard and accomplished a great deal this year. They deserve to end the season with a memorable bowl game experience,” McCoy said.

Amen.

It might be that intercollegiate sports is stuck in this whirling blender, now that athletes can be paid – sometimes eye-watering amounts – and coaches on short contracts are free to pick up and leave for better jobs.

What I DO know is that Wazzu will battle forward, settling comfortably in the new Pac-12, and make the best of hands that are dealt.

“Once a Coug…”

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”