THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Like it or not, WSU and OSU may have found their level in football

I’m sorry. 

Not everything we write in this space sets off celebrations and a Mardi Gras. 

Sometimes a group of readers will do some teeth-gritting, then feel like heaving an iPhone or laptop through the nearest pane of glass. 

I get it. 

I really do. 

I’ve been on that bottle-into-the-TV side of things myself. 

The best I can do for you, however, is make sure I’m being fair — and tell the truth without sounding like a wise guy. 

Sigh. 

OK, now that I’ve hemmed and hawed, stalling around because this column truly is no fun pushing into print, let’s get to the point. 

Washington State opens the 2024 football season Saturday with what figures to be a walk in the park against Portland State. 

It will seem very much like the Cougs’ usual openers, entertaining a team that should be overmatched. 

That’s the way it routinely works for FBS bowl-level teams — draw a nice crowd for the first Saturday of the season, rack up a win and wait for the real sluggers on the schedule coming up soon. 

EXCEPT. 

This time, things are dramatically different. 

Oh, not over the weekend, with what figures to be a breezy win. 

It’s just that after Portland State, the schedule looks all funny and head-scratching. Except for a bout with Washington over at Lumen Field in Week 3, the usual conference opponents have disappeared. 

Yes, the Cougs are still in the Pac-12. 

In fact, they are now HALF of it, splitting the honors with Oregon State. 

Even though the other 10 have deserted for the Big Ten, the Big 12 and the Atlantic Coast Conference (Stanford and Cal, where do we go from the airport?), do NOT refer to Wazzu and Oregon State as independents. 

They remain the entire Pac-12, including income, letterheads and other perks, at least through 2025. 

The NCAA grants fractured conferences a two-year window to regain a minimum membership (eight schools), and the Pac-2 no doubt will be working like crazy to add at least six teams — and in theory, become one of the big boys again. 

That probably won’t happen, but there are likely to be so many twists and turns with the realignments ahead of us that ... well, who knows? 

In the meantime, puffy old execs with out-of-style ties are assuming that, when we get to 2026, the Pac-2 will wind up in some sort of merger with the Mountain West Conference. 

The Cougs and Beavers already have mutual scheduling agreements for football and basketball. 

NOW, WE come to the part of today’s discussion that may not go over so well. 

Honestly, I believe that Washington State and Oregon State will fit properly into the Mountain West — and there’s really no reason that the merger, if that’s what we’re calling it, can’t work out for everyone involved. 

Playing Boise State, Air Force, San Diego State and Fresno State — all of whom have been ranked in the AP Top 25 very recently — won’t be any less fun than hanging out in half-filled stadiums at Stanford, Cal and Arizona State. 

Not to mention: Not sure how you’ll take it, but I won’t miss Coach Prime and his self-promotion one whit. 

Let’s talk business for a minute. 

The truth is that Mountain West universities operate on athletic budgets that more or less match money coming and going just about like the current Pac-2. 

If we’re going to be honest, there are alums attached to Wazzu and OSU who want some kind of affiliation with big-name schools as a form of athletic social climbing. 

They think it would be cool to play Ohio State and Georgia in conference games. 

Truth: Without spending an absolute fortune (that doesn’t exist), the Pac-2 would routinely take almighty beatings from those teams. 

Hate to break the news here, but intercollegiate sports are about money. 

If you have tons of it, you can play in any conference that amuses you (see: Vanderbilt). 

Everyone else really, really should stay in the same financial league. 

The games are just as much fun. 

Not only that, but you can win a whole bunch of them. 

And that’s a LOT of fun. 

Email: scameron@cdapress.com 

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens. 

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”