The Exhausted Dad: Doubling the dorky teenagers
As a parent to a teenager for about two months now, I want to commend myself for the calm and level-headed leadership in the house.
At least so far, living with an unpredictable 13-year-old resembles living with an unpredictable 12-year-old.
Then a second 13-year-old came to stay with us for a few days. My daughter’s best friend from third grade moved away at the end of that school year. While they kept in touch through technology, they’ve only seen each other in person one other time over the past five years. She stayed with us last week, temporarily raising our teenager count to two and our total kid count to five.
I wondered if double teenagers might bring double drama. My daughter is desperately grasping her childhood, so far largely avoiding the common middle school traps of crushes, conflicts and contraband. What if her childhood friend came back and exposed her to vaping and social media bullying?
When her friend walked through our front door, I immediately noticed her 50 Cent T-shirt. My oldest daughter doesn’t know 50 Cent (my 9-year-old daughter does, thanks to our shared love for the throwback hip-hop radio station, Hooptown 101).
When seeing her shirt, two thoughts came to mind:
1. Oh no! Her friend has been teenagered! She won’t want to do all the “kid” things my daughter planned to do during the week!
2. 50 Cent is pretty awesome. I might need to buy myself a 50 Cent T-shirt.
Luckily, these two goofballs filled their time together with one joyful activity after another. Some of them were definitely “teenager activities.” They wanted to walk around the mall. They wanted to buy some makeup at Target (and also look at Barbie dolls at Target). They wanted to drink boba tea and try on “preppy” clothes.
Honestly, it was adorable. Their teenagering was straight out of an episode of “Saved by the Bell.”
The rest of the time they spent being kids. They picked up exactly where they left things in third grade. They made several containers of slime. They watched cartoons and played dolls. They even walked over to their old elementary school, shared memories of their time on the playground and made all new memories by probably damaging the playground equipment designed for children half their age and half their size.
My wife was going to take them to “Despicable Me 4,” but since I saw “Despicable Me 4” with our younger three kids and thought, “Meh,” I suggested they all go see “Twisters,” a PG-13 movie with some mild terror and adult themes (and a dreamy Glen Powell).
When they returned home from the movie, I was promptly informed of their experience.
My daughter: “You traumatized me!”
Apparently, the PG-13 thrills of “Twisters” were a little too intense for these particular 13-year-olds. While I felt (sorta) bad about making them never want to visit the tornado-filled American Midwest, I couldn’t help but feel relief that these two best friends, pulled apart for five years, could still come together and be as goofy and silly and free-spirited as a couple of 8-year-olds. They could talk about makeup and preppy clothes and 50 Cent too.
In a couple weeks, my daughter will start eighth grade. She’ll report back all the drama from her friend group, including some gossip about crushes and contraband. Then she’ll be in high school. Then she’ll be going to college and moving out of the house and into the world. But for now, she likes making slime and watching cartoons. At least it’s nice to know she’s not the only 13-year-old out there embracing and cherishing the twilight of childhood.
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and parent to four kids, ages 7-13. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.
