Avoid friction with diction

A sergeant in charge of the new recruits ordered: "Soldiers, when I blow the whistle, I want you to shoot at will."

At that moment one very frightened young man ran across the grounds and out of sight.

The sergeant bellowed, "Who was that? Where is he going?"

"That was Will," replied one of the recruits.

You can't be too careful with your language. Words are an incredibly powerful tool. They can open doors or slam them shut. When you are mindful of the words you choose, you are not just communicating; you are painting a picture of who you are. August is National Language Month.

Word choice is the essence of good communication. It is not just about what you say, but how you say it. The right words help you convey your message clearly and avoid misunderstandings. Words carry emotional weight. Your choice of words can set the tone of a conversation, whether it is friendly or aggressive, professional or casual. 

The way you speak, especially in leadership positions, sets the tone for your team or organization. Using respectful language encourages others to follow suit. 

In sales, negotiations or any form of persuasion, word choice can mean the difference between success and failure. The right words can motivate, inspire and persuade people to take action. Your language reflects your competence and credibility. A strong vocabulary suggests education and intelligence, while poor word choice can undermine your expertise.

Words are the building blocks of relationships. They can build trust, show empathy and create bonds. The wrong words can damage relationships, sometimes irreparably. Certain words can offend or alienate people. By choosing your words wisely, you respect your listeners and create a more inclusive environment.

A rich vocabulary allows you to express yourself clearly and concisely. It shows that you can think critically and articulate your thoughts in a way that is both respectful and intelligent. Expanding your vocabulary is a sign of personal growth. It shows a commitment to learning and self-improvement, which are admirable qualities in any individual.

By improving your vocabulary and being mindful of your language, you equip yourself with a toolset that can enhance your personal and professional life.

You never know who might be listening or who might take offense to certain words. By keeping your language clean, you minimize the risk of offending someone unintentionally.

Using inappropriate language can damage your reputation and credibility. It can suggest a lack of self-control or respect for others, which is not the impression you want to give to colleagues, clients or superiors. A major part of self-control is mouth-control.

As the old saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Swearing or using obscenities during an initial meeting, such as a job interview, can be an immediate deal-breaker. It can overshadow your qualifications and experience.

I have a story that underscores the importance of using proper language, and it's a lesson I've carried with me throughout my career.

Years ago, I was in a high-stakes negotiation with a potential partner. The deal was significant, and both parties stood to gain considerably from a successful agreement. The atmosphere was tense, as you might expect with so much on the line. We were in the final stages of discussion when the representative from the other company, perhaps out of stress or habit, let slip a few unbelievable choice words.

Now, I'm no prude, but in a professional setting, I believe in maintaining a certain level of decorum. The use of such language, especially in a delicate phase of negotiation, was jarring. It not only broke the flow of our conversation but also made me question the professionalism and the culture of the other organization.

Instead of reacting negatively, I took a moment and then calmly addressed the language used. I expressed my belief in the importance of professionalism and how our words reflect on us and our companies. The representative immediately realized the mistake and apologized. We were able to move past the incident and eventually closed the deal.

This experience reinforced for me that proper language is not just about avoiding offense; it's about setting a tone of mutual respect and professionalism. It's a testament to the power of words to either bridge gaps or create divides. Since then, I've always strived to lead by example and encourage those around me to do the same.

Mackay's Moral: It is wiser to choose what you say than to say what you choose.

• • •

Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.