THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Rumors, romance and M's fans begging for Ohtani

There are days when you really have something to say, you know?

Then there are days when you have MANY things to say.

That’s why, back in the mists of time, some clever columnist came up with the idea of Notes and Quotes.
So.

Off we go.

The first item on today’s agenda is putting some nonsense to rest.

After Washington State got blitzed 44-6 at home by Arizona, a rumor started on social media that the Cougs intentionally quit on coach Jake Dickert.

That crazy idea started with another rumor, the suggestion that Dickert had become a candidate for the Michigan State job.

Now, seriously, let me ask you: What possible purpose would it serve to go out and play poorly, simply because another school admires your coach?

No chance.

None.

Trust me, there is ZERO possibility that this entire team would go out and lie down.

If you had a shred of thought in that direction, the Cougs’ blood-and-guts battle in last week’s 38-24 loss to Oregon answers any question.

That was about speed and depth, not effort.

I can’t believe we even had to talk about this.

ITEM: Speaking of stories you can’t escape on social media, this next one is considerably more fun.

The whole world, apparently, is following the love story involving pop songstress Taylor Swift and Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.

Hour by hour.

For instance, on Sunday after Kansas City dispatched the Chargers at Arrowhead Stadium, the universe was treated to a photo of the couple’s first public kiss.

Yes. I mentioned Swift and Kelce in Tuesday’s column about the Seahawks' bout with Arizona.

Why?

In part, because I was directed to watch both games (more or less simultaneously) as a matter of family loyalty.

My stepson Matthew doesn’t care about who’s dating whom, but he’s a Chiefs fanatic and frets that the increasing chaos could halt the charge to another Super Bowl.

Ah, but his girlfriend is a devoted Swiftie, and might be one of the fans staking out Kelce’s house if she could dodge classes at law school.

So, as a group, we are obliged to root for romance.

But not madness.

Kelce, by the way, is averaging almost exactly 100 yards in pass receptions when Swift has been in attendance, only 49 yards when she’s not.

I knew some guys on the high school hoops team who played like that when their girlfriends turned up.

The problem?

They wouldn’t pass the ball.

ITEM: It’s not even up for debate.

Not anymore.

The Mariners have to go out and find some bats, and to avoid a fan revolt, they’ll probably have to spend some money this time around.

For the record, free agents can sign with any team five days after the conclusion of the World Series.

Watching the Rangers’ well-paid bombers pound Houston in the ALCS will only increase pressure on Mariners ownership and baseball boss Jerry Dipoto to go out and get more offense.

Just one or two guys who could avoid striking out with runners on base and games on the line likely would have changed the AL West race pretty dramatically.

Prior to this season, Dipoto believed that the whiffs weren’t that much of a problem — as long as the Mariners got some real production between strikeouts.

I’m not sure Jerry will repeat that mantra prior to the 2024 season.

Meanwhile, the populace is crying out for the Mariners to do whatever it takes to land Shohei Ohtani.

Hell, give him the Space Needle.

The problem (beyond the astronomical money required) is that Ohtani gets to choose his destination, and everyone else has truckloads of cash prepared, as well.

I’m going to do a column or two down the road, analyzing what the Mariners actually have on the current roster (plus the farm system), what they need, and how they can get it.

Spoiler alert: I think the much-criticized trade that sent closer Paul Sewald to Arizona may pay critical dividends over the long haul.

I really like young Dom Canzone, who has a live bat, and let’s not forget that the Mariners also got minor league infielder Ryan Bliss along with second baseman Josh Rojas in that deal.

Bliss is just 23, but he was a revelation last year, moving from Double-A up one level and hitting .304, with 23 homers and — hello! — 55 stolen bases.

Bliss is just 5-foot-6, but obviously packs a punch to go with his speed.

It’s a fact that the Mariners have to get more athletic and use some go-go game to help with whatever thump they can find.

More on that theme, including the use of Dylan Moore and Sam Haggerty, coming soon.

While we wait, why can’t Ichiro be chatting up Ohtani?

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”