My Turn: An open letter to Sheriff Norris
As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I have been watching the situation unfold at the Community Library Network with a growing sense of disbelief. I have held my tongue because, while disturbed by the situation, I felt I had nothing to add to the discussion that hadn’t already been said more eloquently by others. Now that the Sheriff’s Office has become involved, I feel compelled to speak.
When I was 16, I was in a relationship with a 20-year-old man who sexually abused me for 18 months, eventually progressing to forcible rape. I told no adults, not my parents, not my doctors, not the police. Finally, I found my way to a chat support group that provided me with reliable, solid information about sexual assault, which helped me to understand the severity of what was happening to me. Access to information about sex didn’t groom, rape, or hurt me. A person did. Information set me on a path to finally escape.
There is a prevention program called “Darkness to Light” that teaches adults how to recognize signs of sexual abuse. This program tells the story of a little girl who tried to tell her teacher that her “father ate her cookie.” The teacher paid no attention, not knowing that “cookie” was what the child had been taught to call her genitals. Lack of age-appropriate sexual education prevented this girl from reporting her abuse.
Suppressing information about sex does not protect children and teens. It leaves them vulnerable to exploitation. This is what the experts say, what common sense dictates and what my lived experience shows. You are horrified that a teen book discusses oral sex. Do you know what frightens me? A teenage girl, who doesn’t know what oral sex is, tricked or pressured into performing it.
Frankly, it offends me, Sheriff, that you and members of this community are focusing your time, energy and money attacking libraries under the guise of helping children. Less than a month ago, a former LCHS teacher who engaged in a sexual relationship with his student was granted a plea deal. He’ll only serve four months in jail for abusing a child in his care. One story in the paper about that, yet, over and over again, I hear about the threat of books in the library. Why is there more discussion about library books than the fact that one of our teachers sexually abused his student?
Age-appropriate knowledge protects kids. The library has systems in place to provide parents with information and control over their child’s library access. Let the parents and guardians decide what books their children can check out. I would rather my child read about sex in a library book than go out into the world unarmed and unaware of how people can hurt her.
I’ll repeat it: A book didn’t hurt me. A person did. If we want to protect children, perhaps the time would be better spent policing the community, not the library.
Diana Braskich is a resident of Hayden and an employee of the Community Library Network. She wrote this as a citizen and concerned parent and not as a library district employee. This is her opinion and not the opinion of the library district.