The Exhausted Dad: A brief reminder of toddler life

As much as old pictures and videos allow parents to look back fondly at the earlier years of their children, they can’t totally recreate the complete experience of the baby and toddler years. They offer a partial, distorted picture. Even if you watch a video of a particularly screechy toddler temper tantrum (because of course we recorded those), you don’t get the full sensory experience of the moment.

The only way to properly remember the earlier years is to be a guest in another parent’s world for a couple days, as our family did when we visited my wife’s cousin and his family.

He has a 6-year-old son, same as my youngest, as well as a 2-year-old daughter. We know all about living with a rambunctious kindergartener, but it’s been a couple of years now since my wife and I have had the chance to play with a toddler. It was so much fun to watch this tiny, adorable person wander around the house, trying (and mostly succeeding) to keep up with five, much older kids.

My youngest daughter, 8, also misses having a “baby” in the house, because she latched onto her little cousin and happily served as her personal assistant for the duration of our visit. She fetched water and snacks for her, adjusted her pillows and blankets for “movie time” in the living room and even carried her around whenever those 2-year-old feet felt like a break.

My daughter once did these things for her little brother, and she cherished his days of care when he was just an infant. Even though she was only herself at the time, she made it her personal mission to make sure her brother always had everything he needed.

Nowadays, her brother still wants help, though usually for less-fun work like putting a plate in the dishwasher or preparing a snack. Gone are the days of delivering a baby blanket or favorite stuffy and receiving a joyous baby grin, giggle and snuggle as return payment. Nowadays, her brother rarely musters a “thank you.”

For much of the day, my wife and I also couldn’t help but be mesmerized by our 2-year-old little relative. Everything she says and does is SO CUTE! She says so many full sentences and big words but in that irresistible baby voice. You can’t understand half the words, but WHO CARES!? It just means she’ll repeat it and you get to hear it again.

Getting the full re-experience of parenting a toddler also means participating in the things that don’t translate well into pictures and videos. Things like the frequent rushes to the toilet, the occasional accidents or the random screaming about a random missing toy.

And, of course, no Life with a Toddler is complete without spending the night and taking on all those unique challenges.

Our sweet little cousin was excited about sleeping next to her new best friend (my 8-year-old daughter), but, then, the nighttime happened and the dark makes everything different. The shadows change with an extra kid in the room, obviously.

My wife and I couldn’t hear much from our guest room, but our 8-year-old got the full toddler sleep routine, including numerous screaming fits, a few “I’m not tireds” and eventually, the exit of her temporary roommate for the remainder of the night. Turns out, the 2-year-old finishes most night in her parent’s bed.

The next morning, our 8-year-old daughter kept telling us about all the cute things about her cousin. But she also added a few extra comments: “She’s exhausting!” “She doesn’t like to sleep!”

As much as I miss my kids being little, I’m glad I wasn’t the one on the clock for the toddler’s overnight regimen. The old photos and videos of our kids don’t capture those nights sleeping on the edge of the bed, dodging the sharp, flailing elbows of an overtired toddler.

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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and a parent to four kids, ages 6-12. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.