The exhausted dad: Abandoned by my own children

Readers of this space might remember last week I contracted COVID for this first time. My 5-year-old son gave it to me, courtesy of his 5-year-old friends at kindergarten. They’re all healthy and fine. I’m mad at them for that.

Because nobody likes COVID, my family has been staying the heck away from me. I’m in my own room, and we all wear masks in shared spaces. I accepted this… for the first seven days.

But I’m one of those folks who got nailed with what they call “COVID rebound,” which apparently happens somewhat often, with or without taking any antiviral medication. I felt better after six days and “almost” had a negative test. Such a faint second line. Practically negative, right?

Two days later, I woke up with a stuffy nose. Did I already catch another stupid virus from one of my kids? Just in case, I took a COVID test. Instant positive. Rebound.

The symptoms were different: The rebound felt more like a severe head cold compared to the achy flu-like feeling of the first bout. A few days passed and I started to feel better again. But the tests keep popping positive.

Three years into the pandemic, I know nobody cares about my “COVID journey.” I only bring it up because I’m tired of being shunned by my children. Yes, I’m basically still in quarantine, and now it seems like everyone is having fun except me! It’s not fair!

As I write this, my wife took our oldest daughter shopping, and afterward they picked up Mexican food for lunch. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE?! They know I still can’t taste things very well. And they know how much I like fajitas. After the two weeks I’ve been through, I’m the one who needs fajitas.

While I’m at home, I wear my mask. Because I’m courteous. My oldest son sees me coming into the living room and he dives for his mask and steps as far away from me as he can. Somehow he forgot how I took care of him back in September when HE had COVID. Did I wear my mask around him and run away from HIM whenever he approached? Yes, of course, but that isn’t the point. The point is I’m sensitive about it!

It’s my kindergartener who infuriates me the most. I ask him for a hug, and he says, “Just a short one, I don’t want to get sick.”

I take a deep breath, then I calmly inform this 5-year-old that I have feedback for him:

Me: “1) You are always sick. You have another cold right now! You’ve had 12 different viruses since you started kindergarten!”

“2) When you had COVID, you had a stuffy nose for two days. That barely qualifies as sick!.”

“3) YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME COVID!”

He just laughs at me. Kids have no respect for their parents.

Some other grievances I’d like to share about my family concerning my COVID quarantine:

• They tried to watch “Shark Tank” without me. You don’t watch “Shark Tank” without me.

• On three different occasions when I felt crummy but could still taste my food, my wife said, “Feel free to warm up some soup.” NO! That’s the day to get fajitas!

• On a day I couldn’t taste, the family picked up some orange chicken at Panda Express. There is no point in eating Panda Express if you can’t taste the orange chicken.

• On another day I could taste, my wife told our kindergartner they would pick up ice cream if he went to get a haircut (he doesn’t like haircuts). I said I wanted ice cream, and I was told, “You’re sick.” Exactly! I’m sick! That’s when someone REALLY needs ice cream.

• When I’m in my bedroom, ALONE, I often hear the children laughing and playing and probably doing really cool things. I like to laugh and play and do really cool things, so I think they’re having fun just to make me feel bad.

Honestly, we chose to have a large family knowing that one of the downsides would be the constant exposure to school-fueled illness. Fine. I just want my four kids to remember that all of them spit up, peed and pooped on me MULTIPLE TIMES, and in none of those instances did I quarantine them in a room all by themselves. I’m lonely!

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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, full-time student and parent to four kids, ages 5-11. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.