OPINION: Let's talk about suicide

It’s always sad to learn of a friend’s death. But when a friend dies by suicide the news can be especially jarring.

Last week I learned that Larry, a friend of a friend, took his own life.

Larry was outwardly happier than most people I know. He was friendly, skilled and generous with his knowledge.

Why would Larry, of all people, take his own life?

Depression and hopelessness are silent killers, pushed deeper into silence by stigma around mental health. Every human on earth has their own struggles, but somehow society has made it seem heroic to cover those pains with a smile.

No one knew that Larry was despairing and on the verge of taking such a drastic move.

People who are terminally ill will often exhibit signs of their despair. Their friends and loved ones can then offer help and intervene. They can refer them to health professionals for counseling and other forms of treatment.

But, all too often, people contemplating suicide conceal their suffering. They are on the verge of taking their own life, but they show no symptoms and they don’t talk about it.

It’s time to ask ourselves why physical health — going to the gym, drinking plenty of water, eating good foods — is polite conversation. Yet, talking about how we are caring for our mental health is uncomfortable.

This may be because mental health struggles have with it a stigma of disgrace or failure in life.

Talking about these things is the only way we can remove the stigma around mental health emergencies that culminate in suicide.

For survivors, it’s easy to think about what we could have done differently. How could I have helped Larry know of his worth?

We could have talked and listened to Larry. Talking helps people to deal with all sorts of mental health conditions, ranging from depression and anxiety to eating disorders, fears and phobias.

“One common myth suggests that talking about suicide actually encourages people to think about it,” writes Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein in the February 2017 edition of Psychology Today. “Research has shown the opposite. High school students who felt suicidal and ashamed were relieved to express their feelings. Many times their desire to blend in prevented them from seeking help.”

No matter how scary, we need to talk about it.

Eleven people in Kootenai County alone have already been lost to suicide between January and June.

To bring these conversations out of the shadows, the Kootenai County Democrats are proud to sponsor the 2023 Suicide Prevention Action Network of North Idaho’s annual 5K Walk.

On Saturday, Sept. 9, we will join others from across North Idaho to loudly declare that it’s OK to talk about mental health. In fact, it might be life-saving.

The theme of this year’s event is “Let’s Walk About It.”

On Sept. 9 at 10 a.m. at Riverstone Park, join neighbors and friends from across North Idaho as we remember those who we have lost, and strengthen our resolve to support people in crisis.

Check in begins at 8:30 a.m.

All are welcome at this free event, however registration is required You can register at this link: https://appengine.egov.com/apps/id/phd/span

T-shirts are available for purchase during registration.

In conjunction with our volunteer support, the Kootenai Democrats are financial supporters of SPAN of North Idaho. All donations will go directly to initiatives that support mental health and healing. If you would like to personally donate to these initiatives, click here (https://secure.actblue.com/donate/2023spanwalk).

Riverstone Park is located at 1805 Tilford Lane, in Coeur d’Alene.

Join us. Won’t you? It’s just another way in which we, together, build a more perfect union.

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Evan Koch is chairman of the Kootenai County Democrats.