THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Could the Cougs be better off?

Don’t cry for Wazzu.

Sure, it looks like their “colleagues” and partners from the once-gleaming Pac-12 cruiser have jumped into those last few seats aboard the lifeboat.

In a matter of days, six of the 10 remaining members have bolted for the Big Ten or the Big 12.

Of course, we all remember USC and UCLA starting the exodus with a midnight escape for the Big Ten about a year ago.

Now, we find the Cougs as proud members of the, uh, Pac-4.

They’re joined at the hip for hours, days or maybe years with Oregon State, Stanford and California.

So …

What’s next?

Yes, I understand a certain amount of anxiety, since Wazzu students, fans and alums were forced to watch the Pac-12 — a conference whose roots go back 108 years — sink underneath them rather shockingly Friday morning.

But, believe me when I say that the Cougs will be fine.

They’ll wind up in a conference that suits them.

The best part is that they won’t be at the mercy of those glamor seekers in L.A., the supposed hotshots over Seattle, nor an organization run by morons.

Wherever they wind up, they’ll be better off than in the tattered, dysfunctional Pac-12.

IF YOU want to guess where Washington State athletics will call home beginning with the 2024-25 academic year, well …

This sounds a little odd, but either the Cougs will compete in the Mountain West Conference (with a regional footprint that fits them almost perfectly), or they’ll be in a remodeling Pac-Something — having poached a few schools from, yes, the Mountain West.

Sure, it’s weird, but this is now the way of college sports.

We don’t have to like it, but we DO have to roll with it — or just spend a lot of time watching rodeos (and rooting for the bulls).

You’re wondering, I think, how Wazzu’s apparently opposite destinations can fit in similar sets of plans.

Hey, that’s how things work in a lifeboat.

The simplest and perhaps best long-term harbor for Washington State athletics would be membership in the Mountain West.

Media revenue is lower than in a power conference and TV exposure isn’t exactly in the hot time slots — but the competition is tougher than you think, and the various sports are just as much fun.

Most important, maybe, is that Wazzu could afford the cost of being a major player.

At this point, it doesn’t matter if the Mountain West also takes Oregon State, Stanford and/or Cal — although there would be a nice feel to everyone joining together.

Stanford has been mentioned as trying to make it as an independent (like Notre Dame), but this is a rugged market and the Cardinal haven’t had an exciting product for a while.

Cal …

Who knows?

The bottom line is that the Cougs need a home, even if it’s not particularly fancy.

What matters is whether they can afford the neighborhood.

OK, NOW we come to an option that’s unique — and really intriguing.

What if the Pac-4 (I know, it’s funny to write that), decided to rebuild the conference?

You’re right, they’d almost certainly have to lure two or three Mountain West schools — San Diego State, etc. — and go after teams like SMU, as the Pac-12 was planning to do in the first place.

We can assume that Apple TV would offer something near the same deal that Colorado, Oregon and Washington turned down — but remember, the remaining four were prepared to agree (and expansion candidates HAD to know the details, too).

So, where could you get the money to put all this in motion?

Insider John Canzano explained it in a Saturday column, probably startling most of his readers.

“The Pac-12, regardless of makeup, is still an ‘Autonomy 5’ member,” Canzano wrote.

“The Division I board would have to strip that status, and it could be a bad look because of all the blood already on its hands from Friday’s carnage.

“The A5 members get preferential College Football Playoff distributions.”

Wait, there’s more.

ON THE matter of Mountain West teams having to pay $34 million (double the normal amount) to play football in another conference in ’24, Canzano shared something of a shocker.

“SDSU and any other MWC teams would come with that extra buyout if they were to join in time,” he wrote. “However, there is a significant war chest available to the four remaining schools.

“All the media-rights distributions, payments and postseason distributions that were due to the Pac-12 in the next distribution cycle could end up in the hands of the four remaining members.

“The estimated total: $420 million.

“Stanford, Oregon State, Cal and Washington State are entitled to use all the funds to cover additional costs and damages caused by the departures.”

Whoa!

Now THAT is enough to start putting a conference back together.

Whichever way Washington State chooses to proceed, though, I’m happy that the Cougs are likely to play in a conference they can afford — with teams who are basically equal partners.

That’s more than enough.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”