THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Staying away from that social media slander

Why do I ever go online?

You know, other than to find actual information related to my job?

Maybe 15 minutes, tops, on Twitter and I despair for society.

For humanity.

Okay, it’s too much of a headache to fret non-stop about the climate, the planet and all those macro issues that make me feel like I haven’t had as worthy a life as Greta Thunberg.

If you don’t know her, that’s fine.

I’m sure most of the Mariners don’t, either, and I get paid to care about them.

Speaking of income (not mine), here’s a Twitter item I saw today. It popped up in an argument between a couple of knuckleheads.

They were debating whether Clayton Kershaw — who won his 200th game on Tuesday night — was a better pitcher than Jacob deGrom.

First outrageous comment …

“Kershaw has never been properly appreciated. He’s been criminally underpaid by the Dodgers.”

False.

Teachers and nurses are criminally underpaid.

Kershaw is making $20 million this year, and his career earnings in the big leagues alone tote up to a not-quite-criminal $294,701,142.

That’s more than a quarter-billion dollars, in case you never passed math, and doesn’t count endorsements and whatever extra income he’s trousered through the years.

IN THE criminal world, by the way, it’s possible only Pablo Escobar made more money than Kershaw.

And as for baseball players in general, only Miguel Cabrera (a tad over $400 million and counting), Alex Rodriguez, Justin Verlander, Albert Pujols, Zack Greinke and Max Scherzer have earned more than the Dodgers’ lefty.

Quick note: Would you have guessed than Kershaw needs 23 more victories to catch Greinke at 223?

Greinke is 39, but he’s back in Kansas City out of loyalty to the club that got him to the big leagues (and stayed loyal when Zack missed a season in his prime for personal reasons).

Right, back to ballplayers who’ve made a bundle …

I might be missing someone here (get in touch if I have), but the only baseball players I know who’ve socked away more than Miggy Cabrera would be Michael Jordan of the Birmingham Barons (net worth of $2.2 billion) and Fidel Castro, estimated worth of $900 million at his death.

Although …

Fidel DID basically own a country, so there’s that.

By the way, Kershaw’s current estimated net worth is “only” $110 million, and with all of his off-the-field money — in Los Angeles, no less — Clayton HAD to have made far more than that roughly $300 million in salary.

Maybe he lost a chunk investing in crypto.

More likely, Clayton bought the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride at Disneyland – you know, for the kids.

On the serious side, which we all need after a bout of Twitter, Clayton and his wife, Ellen, are devout Methodists who have helped several worthwhile causes.

Ellen is also a boots-on-the-ground philanthropist who has led several missions to serve the underprivileged youth of Lusaka, Zambia.

In truth, Kershaw makes it harder to loathe the Dodgers, which is buried in my DNA as a child of San Francisco.

The late broadcaster Vin Scully made it even MORE difficult.

Still, I persevere.

Plus, there are the Mariners to cheer me up.

Sometimes.

SO, BACK to those awful minutes on Twitter, and stumbling across the argument about Kershaw and

deGrom.

The anti-Kershaw crusade — and yes, I know that just a few people online can seem like thousands — was predictably led by some hard-core Rangers fans.

They have this new toy in Texas, so he HAS to be the most terrifying and successful beast who ever picked up a baseball.

Dismissing Kershaw (and everyone else), one Twitter doofus announced: “There’s no doubt that deGrom is the best pitcher in baseball history, and the numbers back it up.”

In fact, they don’t.

Now pitching at age 35 and at the beginning of a five-year contract, deGrom this week has experienced wrist soreness which will prevent him from making his next start.

A betting man would throw down a few bucks that it will be a longer layoff.

IN HIS nine-year career prior to 2023, deGrom has averaged just nine wins and 147 innings per season, and a fat share of that total came from 2017-19, when he logged 201, 217 and 204 innings — and won a pair of Cy Young awards.

The rest of the time, though, he’s been a one-man hospital ward.

Heading into year No. 10, deGrom has suffered problems with, in chronological order, his elbow, hip, back, neck, hamstring, side, side again, elbow again, shoulder, forearm, forearm again, shoulder again, and now wrist.

In terms of performance, he is baseball’s equivalent of a shooting star, brilliant but vanishing into the darkness.

Here’s the analysis of a pitching coach who asked to remain anonymous for obvious reasons (it’s not Seattle’s Pete Woodworth) …

“At this point, you have to say, based on the last couple of years, that it’s far more likely he’ll get hurt again than stay completely healthy in the coming years.

“His ability to generate the arm speed that produces such high velocity (fastball 98-99 mph, slider 91-92) at his age makes him a freak, but it’s reasonable to believe that also puts him at greater risk of injury, just because of the force that arm speed creates.”

There is a cautionary tale here, for the Mariners and all of MLB.

As pitchers throw harder and harder, plus spinning the ball more violently, the risk of injury – to all parts of the body – has been increasing dramatically.

The quest to become unhittable is going to leave a lot of victims selling insurance in their 30s.

The few starters who threw really, really hard in other eras (Seaver, Gibson, Ryan, Clemens, etc.) had almost perfect mechanics.

Maybe that’s the right way to start.

Oh, and don’t waste time on Twitter.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”