‘Pinocchio’ another flat, unnecessary live-action remake
Disney needs to stop this. Forever. Please.
The live-action adaptation of Disney’s 1940 animated version of “Pinocchio,” continues the studio’s recent tradition of turning their animation classics into shameless, borderline unwatchable monstrosities riddled with disturbing CGI.
OK, to be fair, a couple of these adaptations have been fine (with David Lowery’s “Pete’s Dragon” qualifying as a genuinely good movie).
The more recent ones, however, reek of corporate greed, “Aladdin” and “The Lion King” especially. Those movies, released in 2019, were both box office juggernauts.
“Pinocchio,” which landed on Disney+ instead of a theatrical release, superficially attempts a thoughtful production by recruiting Tom Hanks to star as Geppetto as well as his “Forrest Gump”/”Polar Express” director Robert Zemeckis.
Unfortunately, all the same problems that bled all over those previous “reimaginings” cripple “Pinocchio” from the start. The CGI Jiminy Cricket (voiced awkwardly here by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) looks odd, and Pinocchio (voiced by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) never once looks like it should exist in a live-action world (with a resemblance to the 1940 puppet that falls into the uncanny abyss of “Polar Express” territory).
The story here closely follows the 1940 cartoon yet inexplicably adds 20 minutes. Most of the distinct changes in the script by Zemeckis and Chris Weitz make some sense — Geppetto’s motivation for wishing a puppet to life gets some attention, and all that creepy business with the predator who lures young boys to Pleasure Island gets softened and explained in a way that isn’t quite as icky as before.
Make no mistake though — a bunch of kids still get turned into donkeys and sold into slave labor. This story is dark.
While the rest of the iconic story beats more-or-less play out the same, the charm of the original gets sucked out by a combination of clunky dialogue additions (including a reference to Chris Pine… get it?) and ugly visual aesthetics. Large scale visual effects routinely look cheap (especially the Pleasure Island sequence and the climactic encounter with Monstro, which is reimagined as more of a sea monster rather than a whale (the design itself would be fine if the CGI didn’t look so terrible).
Much of why the older Disney animation hits endure can be found in the smaller character moments. For 1940’s “Pinocchio,” the best comedic moments belong to Figaro, Geppetto’s lovable kitty who can’t help but feel a little jealous about the arrival of Pinocchio (and the continued presence of Cleo the goldfish). In the 2022 “Pinocchio,” Figaro lingers around in the shadows and loses a ton of screen time. It makes sense once the movie shows us a few full-on, brightly lit shots of the now CGI cat. It looks terrible.
A few new songs get sprinkled into the film, all of which won’t leave an impression. Cynthia Erivo at least drops in for a welcome cameo as the Blue Fairy and a beautiful 60 seconds of “When You Wish Upon a Star.”
The less said about Tom Hanks the better. The iconic actor delivers an overly stylized and downright silly interpretation of Geppetto. He’s rambling and jumping around all over the place, almost as if he was expecting the movie to be more stylized and even animated later via motion-capture like he did with “The Polar Express.”
Disney isn’t finished with these reimaginings just yet, with “The Little Mermaid” and a “Lion King” sequel on the near horizon. At this point, I’d rather be trapped in a whale’s mouth than watch another second of these soulless endeavors.
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Tyler Wilson is a member of the International Press Academy and has been writing about movies and pop culture for Inland Northwest publications since 2000, including a regular column in The Press since 2006. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.