Thursday, December 08, 2022

EDITORIAL: The tantalizing tale of teal pumpkins

| October 21, 2022 1:00 AM

When you take the kids or grandkids trick-or-treating on Halloween and you see a teal-colored pumpkin on someone’s porch, that means:

a) Progressives live there

b) On this holiday, the residents are feeling both sad (blue) and envious (green)

c) The fake pumpkin simply hasn’t ripened yet

d) Residents have non-food or allergy-safe treats available

According to a survey conducted for a health organization called MedStarHealth (, d) is the correct answer.

Didn’t know that? You’re not the only pumpkin in the patch left out in the cold of cluelessness.

According to the survey, only 14% of respondents knew what a teal pumpkin on a Halloween porch means. MedStarHealth is using that and some other interesting data to promote the idea of giving out non-candy treats with children’s health — particularly kids with allergies — in mind.

Now, put away the rotten eggs; there’ll be no tossing them at the bearers of bad news. For most of us, Halloween is sacred in its tradition of supporting the dental industry while making work insufferable on Nov. 1 for teachers trying to manage 30 kids on sugar rushes. Halloween without candy is like Christmas without presents, right?

Well, according to the MedStarHealth survey, that tradition is changing. It found that nearly half the respondents (45%) will be handing out non-candy treats this year.

Which reminds us of the great scene from Grumpier Old Men in which Walter Matthau has forgotten it’s Halloween so he tosses a readily available drink coaster in one child’s bag and a stapler in another’s.

Nothing against a good stapler, but the survey sponsors recommend small toys or stickers as candy alternatives. Their goal is improving children’s health while making the holiday a little more inclusive.

Which reminds us: You can’t go wrong stocking up on Reese’s Cups, Skittles and M&Ms for your trick-or-treaters who can do candy. In order, they’re the three most popular Halloween treats.

However you wish to reward your costumed little customers on Oct. 31, we hope it’s a fun and enjoyable evening for all.

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