Listen to your body talk
In a hilarious episode of the classic television series "Seinfeld," Jerry is trying to have a healthy breakfast and accidentally squirts his grapefruit in the eye of his friend. George goes around the entire day winking at the worst possible times when asked specific questions, causing people to think he is either covering up for someone or flirting.
Body language is the process of communicating through nonverbal signals. It includes things like posture, facial expressions, gestures and more. The first Friday in October (Oct. 7) is National Body Language Day.
As a lifelong envelope salesman, I am well aware of body language. It's extremely important to be able to read the body language of your customers and prospects. I'm reminded of a cartoon where a prospective customer is shown sleeping with his head on a desk, while the salesperson across from him comments, "Your body language says you've lost interest."
Being aware of body language can make all the difference to how you perceive people, and to how they perceive you. You can say a lot about yourself without actually speaking.
What can people's movements and physical behaviors tell you about what they're thinking? The Cracked website offers these insights into other people's thoughts:
Mirroring — If someone is genuinely paying attention to you, they'll start to mirror your movements and gestures.
Head tilt — When the other person tilts his or her head and leans an ear toward you, this signifies interest in what you're saying.
Hands — People who feel strong and confident spread their fingers wide. People who are insecure will tighten their fingers or hide their hands altogether.
Doodles — People who doodle predominantly with straight lines tend to be more fact-oriented. Curving strokes signify that the person is more creative and flexible.
Long story short, you are communicating moods, feelings or intentions via your actions. If someone approaches you and your arms are crossed and you are avoiding eye contact, you are communicating that you are not approachable. This may be totally inaccurate, but it's how you will be perceived.
You can work on changing your habits to become a better nonverbal communicator. Changing habits can be very difficult. Check in with yourself or others to see what kind of messages you are communicating.
When video conferencing replaces in-person meetings, body language presents a new challenge. Looking off-screen, squirming in your chair, background distractions and even video glitches affect body language messages. When there are multiple attendees participating from separate locations, it becomes more difficult to interpret the physical messages. Maintaining focus can be a bigger challenge when you aren't in person, so check your location and background before you connect to minimize distractions.
Similarly, phone conversations can convey body language through your tone and even how long you pause or how quickly you interrupt.
Body language takes on a huge role for public speakers, whether you are presenting to a board meeting or an auditorium of hundreds. Did you know that your body language can make up 55% of your message? Making eye contact with your audience is essential, and your posture lets those in attendance know that you are prepared and enthusiastic. Practice in front of objective friends until you are confident that your physical movement isn't overpowering your verbal remarks.
Don't let how you move, your facial expressions, and general demeanor get in the way of your intended meaning. A carefully crafted message deserves to be delivered in a complete package. You can't just put your best foot forward — be prepared from head to toe!
Mackay's Moral: Listen to your body language. It speaks volumes.
• • •
Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.