The stay-at-home dad: Kids face Jurassic expectations

My four kids know I’m a “movie guy,” and they know “Jurassic Park” is my go-to, be-all-end-all favorite film of all time.

I saw “Jurassic Park” as a kid on opening day back in the summer of 1993, and it delighted and terrified me in equal measure.

I’ve resisted showing the movie to my kids for a couple different reasons. For one, scary-looking monsters eat some people, including one who they know to be Dad’s favorite actor (However, one could argue that Samuel L. Jackson’s Ray Arnold found a way to escape the island off-screen, sans arm).

While I do try to limit the level of screen violence my children watch, I was more concerned about putting them in the position of not liking my favorite movie.

My 10-year-old thinks “Moana” is the best movie ever made.

I respond, “It’s good, but it’s no ‘Jurassic Park.’”

My 7-year-old thinks “Frozen II” belongs at the top of the list.

I respond, “‘Frozen II’ is a better sequel than ‘The Lost World,’ but it’s no ‘Jurassic Park.’”

My 4-year-old believes that nothing beats “Toy Story 2.”

I respond, immediately fighting back tears thinking about Jesse’s flashback, “OK, kid, you might be onto something there.”

My 8-year-old son, who won’t name a favorite movie, has long been an advocate for us showing the kids “Jurassic Park.” He watched every episode of the more-kid-friendly Netflix animated series, “Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous,” he played “Jurassic Park/World” themed Minecraft and Lego video games, and he even enjoyed watching me craft my own park with the “Jurassic World Evolution” video games. Don’t worry, I turned off the setting that allows dinosaurs to escape and eat the guests. While he watched anyway.

My 10-year-old, the oldest, had the most apprehension about watching the film. “Live-action thrills” make her anxious, and I don’t think she trusts me about older movies after she saw that dead body fall on Chunk during “The Goonies.” I forgot about that scene, OK?

Nevertheless, it finally seemed like the right time to give “Jurassic Park” a shot as a family, though we sent the 4-year-old out of the room with a tablet just before the T-Rex made her grand debut about halfway through the film.

We watched it on a weekend afternoon, so as to provide plenty of comforting daylight. I still wanted to blast the sound, but all four kids complained about the high volume in the very first scene.

“The loud screaming and raptor snarls are part of the experience,” I tried to explain.

Despite my protest, the volume dropped by half and we popped the subtitles on as well, which disrupted the visceral experience but at least provided opportunity for my young readers to read along with important turns-of-phrase like, “Hang onto your butts.”

My 4-year-old immediately lost interest. Understandable.

My 10-year-old got incredibly anxious and watched the second half of the film under a blanket.

My 7-year-old, sensing this as an opportunity to appear “tougher” than her older sister (a person she simultaneously idolizes and terrorizes) watched the entire film stone-faced, albiet wrapped in my arms.

My 8-year-old son, the one I thought would be most likely to name “Jurassic Park” as his own favorite movie at some point in the near future, made about 87 references to the video games he’d played.

Him: “Hey this raptor-in-a-cage part is in the Lego game!”

Me: “Yeah, because the game is based on this movie.”

Him: “Hey that building is in Minecraft.”

Me: “BECAUSE IT’S BASED ON THIS MOVIE!”

Him: “Didn’t Mom give you that mosquito cane for Father’s Day last year?”

Me: “Yeah, because it’s awesome!”

Him: “It’s… OK, I guess.”

Seeing his older sister hiding under the blanket during the T-Rex attack, my son then tried to break the tension for her.

Him: “They made that T-Rex with CGI.”

Me: “Actually, for most of this scene that’s a giant animatronic T-Rex. That head right there really was as big as a car and could open and close its jaws. Isn’t that amazing?!”

Him: “They could’ve just done it with CGI.”

Then I paused the movie and gave everyone a little rant about the overabundance of CGI in modern filmmaking and that none of the new “Jurassic” movies look anywhere close to as realistic as the original movie’s dinosaurs. Their response was… muted.

Despite my mild irritation at their varied responses, I settled into the back half of the film as I always do — on the edge of my seat and marveling at the spectacle of it all. And, like always, I flashed back to watching it in 1993, and I loudly hummed that killer John Williams theme as the credits rolled.

At that moment I realized I didn’t really care about whether my kids appreciated the movie like I wanted them to. “Jurassic Park” is my favorite movie, and my kids can have their own favorite that hopefully gives them their own warm memories… even if that means I have to overhear them memorizing every single line from “Frozen II.”

A few days later, however, I’m still catching my 8-year-old son mumbling that sweet, sweet “Da da da, da duh” John Williams goodness.

• • •

Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer and stay-at-home dad to four kids, ages 4-10. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.