Struggling young men need role models

As the winter season turns to spring, we are optimistic about the new opportunities that come with it. For anyone who is still in school, they are starting to look at which classes they will be taking in the fall.

Something that I have noticed over the years is the declining number of young men taking on higher academic challenges, and it makes me wonder why that is. In high school, the percentage of male to female students in Honors and AP classes has shifted over the years. Today there are far more young women than young men pursuing these classes with higher academic rigor.

Based on the recent honor roll announcement from CDA Charter Academy, it would appear that their top performers are predominantly female. It’s great that young women are doing so well. Although there is no reason that the young men couldn’t be doing better. Perhaps in our zeal to encourage young women to take on higher academic challenges we have forgotten to encourage the young men as well.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that every student should take advanced level classes. However, if a student is considering it, then I would encourage them to do so. It’s much better to step back because the challenge was too great, than to miss an opportunity.

Far too often as young people begin to mature in middle and high school, the adults in their lives step away from being actively involved and leave them to figure things out on their own. Unfortunately this often leads to a lack of direction, and a sense of abandonment.

I will never forget the conversation in my office with a 17-year-old student who, with tears running down his face, said “I wish my dad cared about me as much as he does the country club.” This young man had many advantages in his life, but what he wanted most was a relationship with his father.

In speaking with the families of the incoming freshman class, I have often said, “While they may not want you around, they want to know that you are there.” We need to be there for the young people as they are growing up.

Gentlemen, our young men need positive male role models. Whether it is their father, brother, uncle or family friend, our young men need older men to demonstrate what it means to be responsible, productive members of society. We cannot walk away from the next generation just because they happen to be growing up.

They need us as positive role models who are actively engaged in their lives beyond the athletic fields. They need to be encouraged to challenge themselves beyond what is comfortable, and to strive for more than just adequate. We need to encourage the young men in our lives to put down their phone and the video game controller and pick up a book. When they learn to expand their mind, their opportunities will follow.

They need to stop spending endless hours looking at videos and pictures that do nothing to enrich their life and have no lasting effects. We need to encourage them to dream big, but be realistic.

If someone wants to achieve what someone else has, then they will need to be willing to do what that person has done. It’s no coincidence that the more we prepare, the more opportunities come our way.

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Rick Jones, MA Ed., is a 21-year high school counselor and a Rathdrum resident.