'Why English is so hard'
Gotta love English. I mean, you really have to love it to learn it, because too often it makes absolutely no sense, especially to a little kid.
Take it from someone who learned two languages simultaneously as an oil brat living overseas. One was a breeze; it wasn’t English.
Case in point: A much-shared column of old by journalist Marlene Davis entitled, "Why English is so hard to learn:"
"You think English is easy? Check out the following:
“The bandage was wound around his wound.
“The farm was cultivated to produce produce.
“The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse.
“We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store.
“He could lead if he could get the lead out.
“The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert.
“Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present to his girlfriend.
“A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
“When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
“I did not object to the object which he showed me.
“The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed.
“There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row.
"They were too close to the door to close it.
“The buck does many things when the does (females) are present.
“A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
“To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
“The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast.
“Upon seeing the tear in her painting, she shed a tear.
“I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
“How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?”
Heteronyms
“These are brilliant. Homonyms or homographs are words of like spelling, but with more than meaning and sound. When pronounced differently, they are known as heteronyms.”
Can’t remember a single heteronym in Farsi. But it does have three ways to write an “s.” (Nah, heteronyms are definitely worse!)
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Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Email Sholeh@cdapress.com.