The stay-at-home dad: Panda babies: How an afterthought became a favorite gift

No matter how well you know them, kids can surprise you with their preferences.

Like how a kid will love everything with tomatoes (sauce, paste, ketchup, salsa) but refuse to touch a fresh tomato. Or how a kid will devour a McDonald’s hamburger and a greasy, microwaved slab of bacon but gag at the sight of a juicy half-pound, grass-fed patty with crispy, premium bacon on top. Or how a kid will ask for months for a specific, hard-to-find Barbie doll for Christmas, play with it for a day, then never touch it again. Not that I have experience with any of these examples…

Anyway, at the risk of sounding too much like a B-side from “Jagged Little Pill,” let me tell you about my Paw Patrol-obsessed 4-year-old son and how his parents absolutely nailed Christmas shopping for him this year… or so we thought.

My wife managed to find two used toys that were in amazing condition — a “Paw Patrol” lookout tower that stands taller than our son, and a semi-truck toy that holds several of the smaller pup vehicles he already owned. New versions of these at the store cost at least $100 each, and these particular toys were priced well below the suggested retail price.

We wrapped the playsets in one of those giant gift bags and hauled it out to our son’s delight on Christmas morning. He was so excited, and he gathered all his other Paw Patrol toys for an immediate play session.

Mission accomplished. We’re the best parents.

He received other gifts too, including a stuffed panda bear… a last minute gift we added to his pile because our other three kids asked for specific stuffies.

The panda had a zipper pouch in its belly, and inside he found three stuffed baby pandas — tiny little things that are very easy to misplace in a house riddled with other stuffed animals and toys. Cute, right?

The panda was purposefully expensive. We’ve learned to budget such purchases, because our son rarely imprints on any of his other stuffies. I got him an adorable Grogu stuffy and an equally well-detailed Woody from “Toy Story,” and both of them spend their nights in the closet because they look “scary” in the dark. In all fairness, Woody has a history of coming to life.

In fact, his favorite stuffed animal for a long time was a little lion we bought him for Valentine’s Day last year — it cost $1.97 at Walmart. My son named him “Choco” and kept him in bed every night for almost a year, and I’ve sewn that little doll up twice already because of its oh-so-fine craftsmanship.

Anyway, forget about Choco, and forget about that expensive Paw Patrol tower, because my son’s new favorite thing is this random panda and her easy misplaced offspring. The babies go almost everywhere with him around the house, sometimes even taking turns riding on the remote control Batmobile that Santa gave my son this year.

He named the panda babies as well… Nayjay, Rolly and Peanut Butter. I can’t distinguish them from each other, but my son knows who is who and takes it very seriously.

You’d think if he loved them so much, he’d keep track of them a little better, but no, Nayjay, Rolly and Peanut Butter are always missing.

“Where’s Rolly?” he’ll ask.

Me (looking at one of the other baby pandas): ‘Isn’t that Rolly right there?”

Him: “GRRRRRRR! NO! That’s NAYJAY!”

He won’t go to sleep without the trio resting next to him against the wall next to his bed. If only he would keep the babies zipped up safely in Mama Panda. Unfortunately, Mama Panda, who he named CeeCee, often sleeps in the closet so as to take care of Woody and Grogu.

Me: “Why don’t you keep your baby pandas with her (as in CeeCee) so they won’t get lost?”

My son:: “CeeCee is not a HER! Her is a boy!”

Me: “CeeCee is their Mama, and she can keep the babies safe in her pouch so we don’t keep losing them.”

My son: “CeeCee is a Mama. But he’s a He Mama.”

Obviously it’s time to have that conversation again. Not that I’ll have time, because I’m spending half the day scouring the living room for Peanut Butter or Nayjay or whichever (expletive deleted) panda is currently MIA.

I know one place I don’t need to look — anywhere near that amazing, mostly untouched Paw Patrol tower.

• • •

Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer and stay-at-home dad to four kids, ages 4-10. He is tired of looking for Rolly. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.