Reflecting on one Valentine's Day massacre

In matters of the heart, all’s well that ends well.

Even when it looks like the only Valentine’s Day smack you’re going to get is a pretty fist in the kisser.

We harken back to this holiday in 2013, when a clueless editorial writer suggested that men should resist the pressure of buying overpriced flowers and candy and cards for their significant others.

He thought it was a practical solution to spending pressure he didn’t appreciate. We quickly confirmed that his spouse was not amused, as clearly expressed in her newspaper column (https://bit.ly/3suj78v).

She dispensed with literary foreplay in her opening:

“Nothing like waking up the day before Valentine's Day to see a rather unromantic note from my lover, publicly displayed on Wednesday's editorial page for the world to see. Well, at least most of our 67,000 readers saw it.

“News flash: My husband hates Valentine's Day. Worse, he encouraged other men to oblige its call only begrudgingly.”

His editorial and her heart misconnected.

“I feel about as cuddly as the couch I made up for you,” she informed him in print.

So why are we dredging up ancient (painful) history with Valentine’s Day 2022 nearly here? Why, to smirk slightly but smugly, of course. And draw an important conclusion that might be helpful to other doghouse occupants.

Longtime readers might have noticed the same columnist on Thursday argued against buying expensive baubles and instead spreading out the love (and maybe some cash) over the other 364 days, making romance the norm rather than a pricey exception.

She noted that the average American is going to spend $175 for Valentine’s Day, contributing to a cash register chorus singing $21.5 billion notes overall. Men, by the way, are going to spend about twice what women do.

While you can’t put a price on true love, the takeaway from her column was that loving gestures shared sincerely and consistently mean far more than a dozen golden roses and $19.95 VD card grudgingly imparted once per annum.

And if that conclusion is off target? Well, guys, happy Valentine’s Day, and enjoy your romantic night out on the couch.