Dave Barry and Barry Goldwater aren't wrong

Today is typically Tax Day across the U.S. However, because of the IRS offices in Washington, D.C., being closed to observe Emancipation Day — a locally recognized holiday — the taxpaying deadline is pushed back to Monday, April 18.

Appreciate the irony.

Procrastinators get a little more elbow room to operate, but the inevitable is only delayed, not canceled. To ease the stress just a tad, let’s revisit some taxing words of wisdom through the years.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain

It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for. — Will Rogers

I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents… — James Madison

There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him. — Robert A. Heinlein

I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money. — Arthur Godfrey

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. — H.L. Mencken

[on filing for tax returns] This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher. — Albert Einstein

The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away. — John S. Coleman

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. — Herman Wouk

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. — Dr. Laurence J. Peter

Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay. — Milton Friedman

There is no such thing as a good tax. — Winston Churchill

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. — Will Rogers

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. — Will Rogers

The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination. — Ronald Reagan

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. — Robert A. Heinlein

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. — Winston Churchill

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government. — Barry Goldwater

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong. — Mark Twain

The politicians say "we" can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians. — Steve Forbes

Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids. — Harvey Mackay

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. — Dave Barry