Starting from scratch

ATHOL — Five children, all younger than 10.

A past peppered with domestic abuse, trauma and divorce.

And yet, 30-year-old single mom Mel Andrews forges ahead with a heart full of love and faith and the determination to give her kids a good life.

"I was pregnant six times in seven years. It was constant," Andrews said Friday. "It was a control thing for (my ex-husband). He knew when I was pregnant I wouldn't leave. When you're pregnant, you feel super vulnerable. And I lost a baby."

Last spring Andrews connected with Kathy Albin, who at the time was the student success navigator for North Idaho College's Center for New Directions, a resource for single parents and displaced homemakers.

Albin has established a friendship with Andrews since that first phone call when she inquired about going back to school.

"I just connected with her immediately,” said Albin, who is also part of United Way of North Idaho's ALICE (Asset Limited Income Constrained Employed) Task Force and a referring partner for Press Christmas for All and Charity Reimagined.

When Christmas for All time came around, Andrews' No. 1 need wasn’t exorbitant or outlandish.

She just wanted a nice home for her chickens, which spent the winter living in an old dog pen.

"See this is the 'slums.' It's just tarps," Andrews said, pulling back the cover. "I just don’t have the time or the money, and these are like my kids’ pets. If they could go in the house, they would, but they can’t."

During the application process, Albin asked about Andrews' vehicle and found out her windshield was broken.

"I said, 'That's huge, you're transporting five children,'" Albin said. "When we were writing the application, Mel just wanted to really explain her story and talk about these humble asks.

"She was so concerned about the chicken ghetto," Albin said.

Andrews and her five young children — Galena, 8; Westley, 7; Manfred, 5; Samji, 3; and Freya, 1 — all live with her parents in Athol.

"Me and the kids would be on the street if it weren't for my parents," Andrews said. "We've been on the Idaho Housing list for over a year."

At a young age, Mel found herself in love and soon married to someone who would become controlling and violent with her, their kids and their pets. She and the two oldest at one point lived in a women's refuge.

"When you find someone, you just want to give them everything," she said. "When it turns out to be what it was, it's devastating."

As a woman of faith, she believed he could change, "but some people don't want to change," she said.

"It was scary. I called Mom and told Mom I was going to get the kids out and be done," Andrews said. "The Lord got us back here."

"I don't think people understood how scary the situation was. It was a miracle we got out," she said. "After everything happened, I was really bitter at God for a lot of years. It wasn't until I let that bitterness go that I was finally able to leave."

She and the kids were confined to their home. Her ex would take the phone from her when she tried to call her mom.

"I wasn't even allowed to call my family, it was that bad," Andrews said. "That last day he locked us in, God literally said to my heart, 'It's me or him now,' and I was like, 'I ain't choosing him.' I escaped with Freya. The other kids I had to leave.

"I ran to get Mom and Dad and we came back and got the kids," she said. "That was Aug. 11, 2019."

She's not looking back. Following advice from the prosecuting attorney who helped her with the divorce, he told her not to disappear.

"It was like, 'He’s right. If I don’t start doing something, I’m going to shrivel up,'" she said.

After connecting with Albin and being awarded a scholarship to pay for school, Andrews enrolled in NIC's diesel tech program. Not just because she likes to work with her hands, but because she wanted to learn a trade to support her family, and to not have to depend on a husband.

Andrews has spoken to women's groups and told her story, painful experiences and all.

"We all have had a friend or been through it ourselves," Albin said. "But you have no clue. Mel is so brave in sharing that."

"I just want to help others," Andrews said. "I thought my life was a waste for eight years. But then I was like, 'No, God's going to use this to help other people.' I understand what it means to lose your mind.

"I have so much more understanding for people. When you don't go through stuff, you're like, 'Why would you be so stupid?'" Andrews said. "I look back at how stupid I was, but I wasn't stupid I was just so young and I didn't understand."

Albin said when Andrews spoke to her women's group, she said something no one would forget.

"People always say to take one day at a time," Albin said. "She goes, 'It's literally one breath at a time.' We wrote that as our mantra."

So Andrews and her little ones are taking it one breath, one day at a time.

And now their chickens can breathe a little easier, too. The coop would have cost at least $2,000 for materials alone, but Barbi and Paul Caanan donated their time to build it and provided some of the materials. Christmas for All and other kind hearts picked up the rest.

"We call it the 'Taj Mahal,'" Andrews said. "That little chicken coop over there? It's a sign of love. It means so much to my family."