THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: This Gooner up early to watch Arse players present, past ... and future?

You don’t even have to ask.

Yes, of course, absolutely, no doubt, without question…

As a bona fide soccer junkie, I was up at zero-dark-whatever on Sunday morning to watch England face Croatia in their first group match of the European Championships.

Friends and colleagues will all swear that I am not a morning person, let alone a 5:30 a.m. person.

But this was must-see football…sorry, soccer.

See, if you’ve lived or worked anywhere on another continent, soccer is called football (makes sense, since you use your feet almost exclusively).

For most of us temporary ex-pats, it’s simply known as footy.

And it’s pretty much a religion in every corner of the world.

So, back to Sunday, and stumbling around in search of coffee — then eventually, my date with England-Croatia.

Now then…

YOU HAVE to understand that I had no serious rooting interest in the result.

Croatia is a lovely country (a place I could retire, actually), but I’m not really invested in its footy fortunes.

Which brings us to England, and the fact that I hold a United Kingdom permanent resident visa. I could legally live there next week, and enjoy every citizen’s rights except voting.

However…

The English football fans drive me crazy.

They make my teeth itch, and it’s only partly because I lived in Scotland, which is part of the UK but is NOT England.

In fact, during major footy events, every pub in Scotland somehow obtains and proudly flies flags from whatever nation is next facing England.

I can close my eyes right now, and picture Scotland dotted with Croatian flags on Sunday.

By the way, if you want rivalry that makes Auburn-Alabama look like a family barbecue, Scotland actually will line up against England in a Euros match at London’s Wembley Stadium this coming Friday.

Hoo-boy!

Right, so with no reason to cheer or weep over the England-Croatia result, I was up before the roosters because…

Ummm…

Well, because like millions more — no, make that billions more — I was intent on watching players who belong to my favorite club team (Arsenal).

Or players who might wind up signing to play for Arsenal sometime in the next several weeks.

Other supporters around the world, remember, are watching the Euros to see their own players, or prospects who might be signing later this summer.

I was awake partly to watch Arsenal’s exciting 20-year-old winger, Bukayo Saka.

IN THE case of Croatia, we Gooners have memories of a player (Eduardo da Silva) who gave us immense thrills — and who will always be associated with the club.

Eduardo was a transplanted Brazilian (yet remains Croatia’s third-leading, all-time international goal scorer) and he dazzled us with a combination of grace, guile, technical skill and an uncanny nose for goal.

Then, heartbreak…

In 2008, our fabulous Croatian was leading the club toward its 12th English championship when a vicious and almost criminal tackle by Birmingham’s Martin Taylor tore Eduardo’s leg and ankle almost to pieces.

It is still the worst injury I’ve ever seen on a football pitch — and the club never recovered, playing almost in shock the rest of the season.

Eduardo recovered enough to play a year later, but he was not the same for the rest of his career.

Given his skills, it was terribly sad — and not just for Arsenal.

So there, you see why (besides considering the Croatian seaside as a retirement destination) I have a soft spot for that country’s footy team.

MEANWHILE, to use a newspaper phrase here, I’ve slightly “buried the lede” in this column.

Yes, in our crazy biz, the word “lead” – meaning the key part of the story – is spelled “lede.”

Don’t ask. It’s way before my time.

Let’s get to the wild and woolly part of this whole international footy experience.

And I don’t mean the Euros.

Summer marks the transfer window for all European leagues, and it’s a few months of absolute madness.

Imagine an NFL offseason, with every player in the league available to change teams right then — not as free agents, but with their contracts available — for sale in exchange for staggering sums.

No salary cap, either.

So, further imagine that the Seahawks have been purchased by the Saudi Arabian royal family — and these Saudis are willing to spend trillions in search of a Super Bowl.

Just pick the best players, all across the league, and make bids so high that they truly are “offers that can’t be refused.”

It would be mental, right?

Well, that’s the state of things in Europe’s biggest leagues at the moment.

ARSENAL are in need of reinforcements (cough, cough), and we are one of the 10 richest clubs in the world.

Unfortunately, those remaining nine — and others with new cash infusions — want many of the same players we need.

What you see in a transfer window, therefore, is a nuthouse of stories, rumors, denials, supporters losing their minds, agents getting rich, and club executives trying to keep their jobs.

Plus, enough money ultimately changing hands to feed several mid-sized nations.

Oh, and what matters so much to me, the Arse are desperate for a gifted young defender, with Ben White of Brighton and Hove Albion (that’s one club) appearing to fit the bill.

And…

Yep, Ben could well have appeared for England on Sunday morning.

Even half-awake, I was prepared to do some scouting — just in case.

Indeed, soccer fans are nuts.

Ah, but we love it.

If Ben White signs with someone else, though…

Never mind.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. “Moments, Memories and Madness,” his reminiscences from several decades as a sports journalist, runs each Sunday.

Steve also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which is published monthly during the offseason.