Slang disconnect: Do you speak Teen?
This is the sort of column teens roll their eyes at — some old fogy writing a treatise on teen life. As if.
As if “as if” was even a thing anymore. So retro.
When my eldest was 15, I thought I was looped in (as if). Spending so much time around teenagers, I thought, connected me with their lingo.
How naïve. How parent.
Just 1 in 4 Idaho parents understand teens where they live — online, according to a recent survey by Solitaired.com.
After testing 3,000 parents’ knowledge of screen slang and online gaming phrases, one thing was painfully obvious.
Most parents are total noobs (novice or newbie, clueless). We may have picked up “brb” (be right back) a decade late, lol, but even the most tech-literate don’t communicate on the same level as newer generations.
Solitaired also found:
• Fifty-six percent of parents admit 2020 would have been harder without kids’ access to online games, which has its own, acronym-heavy slang. It’s the GOAT (greatest of all time), ROFL (roll on the floor laughing).
• Idaho parents are slightly less slang-fluent: 25 percent of Idaho parents, compared to the nation’s average 27 percent, could define slang such as “lit” (once meaning drunk, now “cool” or exciting) and “dope” (same as lit), “thirsty” (for attention), “snatched” (looking good, on point), or “shook” (shaken up, shocked).
• Moms understand a bit more slang (29 percent) than dads (24 percent). Alaskan capeesh (get it, capisce) most, scoring a dope 66 percent. Montanans are the noobiest (is that a word?) with a lame 7 percent score overall.
• Forty percent of parents changed attitudes about gaming last year. Kids were allowed up to 41 percent more time online, allowing parents time to work. TBH (to be honest) it could be justification, but some see more benefits than before, calling online play good for reading and visual-spatial skills (9 percent agreed); problem-solving (38 percent); social connections (16 percent); creativity (16 percent); and some (13 percent) even think gaming could lead to a career.
Need a slang primer? Netsanity.com’s 2021 Teen Slang Guide and Verywellfamily.com’s Teen Slang Dictionary offer these:
Bruh – “bro,” brother
BF/GF – boyfriend, girlfriend
Cap/no cap – fake/no lie
Crashy - Crazy and trashy, f.k.a. (formerly known as) a trainwreck
Fam – family or closest friends (also, squad)
Flex – show off
I’m weak – (from laughter)
Hundo P – 100 percent sure
Hangry - hungry and angry
Gucci, wig, savage – good or cool
FOMO – fear of missing out
Boots – very, follows adjective (as in drunk boots)
Woke – socially aware
Bae – before anyone else, like romantic “baby”
Curve – romantic rejection
Salty – bitter about it
Sus - suspicious
Skurt – leave
Throw shade – give a nasty look/word
Straight fire – trendy
Sip tea/tea – mind your own business/gossip
Ship – relationship
Ghost – ignore someone
Here’s one I learned from a former barista: “A Karen” is a disparaging way to describe a petty middle-aged person who is rude or overly picky, especially to someone in the service industry. Similar is a tool: Someone obnoxious, rude, or self-embarrassing.
In the caution category are "going down in the DM" (plans for a hook-up, although an innocent “DM” also simply means direct message), smash (casual sex), NIFOC and GNOC (naked in front of computer, get naked on camera), and CU46 (see you for sex).
Risk is possible from WTTP (want to trade photos) and LMIRL (let’s meet in real life). Let’s hope they’re not crunk (simultaneously high and drunk).
Tempting as it may be for concerned parents to know all, everyone needs private conversations with friends. Snooping parents may glimpse POS (parents over shoulder) or 9 (someone’s watching). Why 9? Computers, of course.
A code 9 computer error means “communication with destination network administratively prohibited.” When you leave the room again, their next text may be “99,” an all-clear.
I tried and failed to find a comprehensive, frequently updated teen slang dictionary, although Googling “teen slang” nets a list of articles with more examples. To test your gaming vocabulary, see Solitaired.com/online-gaming-terms-parents-should-know.
TTYL (talk to you later).
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Sholeh Patrick is a scoobied columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Ping me at Sholeh@cdapress.com.