Don't fear the rapper
Dear Nelly Naysayers:
The great Republic is not in jeopardy, nor will life as we know it come to a violent end because a Black entertainer performs for 90 minutes at the North Idaho State Fair.
Sorry to rain on your blow torch, but those of you who think Nelly will fill the fairgrounds air with disgusting verbs and nouns while naked ladies flout their natural gifts on stage are going to be deeply disappointed.
Nelly’s contract with the fair calls for a clean, family-friendly show. He’s capable of that, you know. Nelly, who made the big time as a rapper, has actually mellowed somewhat over the last couple of decades. Could that also have happened to some of you?
The three-time Grammy winner might not be what you crank up on your car stereo, but as ridiculous as it seems, not everybody shares the same taste in music as you. That does not make them stupid or morally bankrupt. Just different.
Please note that some of the rumors circulating among local John Birch followers and diehard fear mongers are based on absolute b.s. But did the purveyors of misinformation bother to pick up the phone and call the fair’s general manager, Alexcia Jordan? Had they done so, they would have learned that Nelly is not some vanguard for a Black Lives Matter movement invading North Idaho from the liberal cesspools of Seattle and Portland.
In fact:
• 84 percent of ticket sales are from Coeur d’Alene, Hayden, Post Falls and other Idaho towns
• The remainder are from Spokane and Liberty Lake, with very few from other states
Will a mass of unsavory elements congregate in the midst of our sleepy, safe domiciles? Yes! — if you consider women anarchistic marauders.
• 73 percent of the ticket buyers are women
• 62 percent are between the age of 25 and 64
You might be surprised to learn that Nelly’s recent comeback was launched on Dancing With the Stars, which at last check was not generally regarded as an incubator of communism-loving and God-hating.
His country crossover collaborations include the likes of Florida Georgia Line, Tim McGraw and Kane Brown, and his busy summer schedule features a number of fairs across the Northwest, including those in Bozeman, Boise, Lynden and Tri-Cities, Wash. If there’s a plot to undermine the wholesome fabric of white, middle class families, why, striking in the above communities is a pretty ingenious strategy.
The Press applauds Alexcia Jordan for seeking out family-friendly entertainment to please many musical palates, helping the North Idaho State Fair offer something to everyone.
“If I bought [entertainment] just for my taste, this would be a very boring place,” she said.
Kudos too to the Fair Board for supporting that more inclusive approach.
And thank you, Nelly Naysayers, for maybe thinking about this issue in a little different light. It’s not too late to replace the Keep Out signs with North Idaho welcome mats.