Standing up for school counselors

There was a protest on Monday about the situation at Northwest Expedition Academy. As the Press reported, a child spoke to a counselor about gender transitioning, and the counselor offered her support. According to the grandmother, the counselor did not notify the parents.

I don't want to weigh in too heavily on this specific incident. For one, I don't know enough about it to have an educated opinion about what the best course of action would have been.

Second, while I am deeply concerned about the situation at hand, my concerns extend well beyond this single occurrence. And finally, above all else, I do not want to cause additional pain for the child at the center of it all.

I know that issues around gender expression and gender identity, especially amongst children and adolescents, are very controversial, and that they engender strong emotions in parents and community members alike. I'm not here to weigh in on whether those views and emotions are correct or incorrect.

What I want to emphasize is that this counselor was in a very tough position. On one hand, she has a child who is struggling and in distress, and on the other, the child's family, who have strong beliefs about what needs to be done to alleviate that distress.

Ms. Franklin, and all school counselors, every day, are tasked with finding a way to help their students that balances parental rights with child privacy rights. Above all else, they must consider the safety and mental well-being of the children in their care. Sometimes those priorities conflict, and there is no perfect solution, as seems to be the case with this incident.

Whether you think Ms. Franklin's actions were appropriate or inappropriate is going to be a matter of opinion, but if you listen to the video, there is a quote that I believe clearly illuminates the counselor's intent. Ms. Franklin said: "I want to be a safe person that she can come talk to about anything."

That's her job. To support the child, make her feel comfortable at school, and create a safe place where she can talk. And that is what I believe she tried to do, to the best of her ability.

My larger concern is that the school district is now revisiting policies regarding parental communication with counselors, and that MassResistance is attempting to introduce a bill that would ban counselors from withholding information from parents.

I cannot emphasize enough how misguided that would be. I urge people of this community to look beyond this incident and recognize the incredible danger that comes with muzzling school counselors.

Parents should be the first line of defense to protect children, no one is arguing with that. In an ideal world, parents would be the first to know what's going on with their children and would always be the ones to decide what to do.

But what you must remember is that not all parents are equipped to do that. And not all parents have their children's best interests at heart.

Please don't conflate that statement with the incident at Northwest Expedition Academy. I am not saying anything about the family involved in this incident. But if because of this incident, you tie the hands of school counselors, and prevent them from having private conversations with their students, you are putting other children at risk.

According to the CDC, one in seven children have experienced child abuse or neglect in the past year. One in four girls, and one in 13 boys, will experience child sexual abuse at some point. Ninety-one percent of that sexual abuse occurs at the hands of someone the child knows. Does that always mean someone in the family? Of course not. But sometimes it does.

If you take away a counselor's rights to private conversations with their students, you take away a safe place for children to report their abuse. You prevent them from getting help. You might trap them in an unsafe situation, or make the situation at home even more dangerous, should the abuser become aware that the child has told.

Do not do this. The rally referred to itself as a "Stop the Child Abuse," rally. If ending child abuse is your goal, school counselors are on your side, not against you. Don't take away their power to help, and above all else, don't take away the safe place they create.

Diana Braskich is a Coeur d'Alene resident.