Big gifts
Three and a half years ago, we lost my cousin at age 23.
It was something of a freak accident. After years of little trouble, after a lifetime living with it just fine, suddenly David was overtaken by an asthma attack. It was beyond help, even when his mother, a long-term nurse, sprang into action.
But this isn’t a sad story, not today.
No one was able to help David, but my cousin saved plenty all on his own. As an organ donor, he gave that precious gift few of us are ever in a position to offer: life, a chance to continue it.
When the time comes, as I’m sure many are able to attest, this tends to be a much smaller comfort. It’s impossible not to hope your loved ones will be lucky, receiving the gift more often than they give it. When grief hits, your loved one’s donation helps – it does – but it stays in the abstract. You know those gifts – which can number more than 75, according to Donate Life America– will do good, and you love to know joy will hit someone else, even if it isn’t hitting you today, but from far away it feels small, simple, and even insufficient.
But nothing about organ and tissue donation could be inconsequential.
Over time, David’s mother, Vanessa, began to receive word of her son’s gifts. The joyful recipients thanked David and made it clear how those gifts were being put to good use. Many are still alive because of him, and thriving. That would be enough, but we get a gift as well. Pieces of David live on in smiling, loving, breathing people. His memory continues – not only for us, but in those whose lives he touched while never knowing it.
And in the case of our David, touching lives with such a deep humility that it won’t ever be acknowledged by him, well, that’s just in character.
April is, among other deserving causes, National Donate Life month, dedicated to raising awareness about the need for life-saving organ and tissue transplants. According to Donate Life America, some 100,000 people are waiting for a transplant. Someone is added to that list every 10 minutes, but every day 20 more die, unable to receive a transplant in time.
Donate Life estimates 95 percent of Americans are actually in favor of organ donation; yet only 58 percent are registered for it. While in some cases and with enough time, your next of kin may be able to make this decision, timing and circumstances won’t always line up. You can spare your loved ones the burden of a difficult decision and ensure a quicker process by registering yourself as an organ donor.
Any piece of you is far too personal for me to tell you what to do with it. In fact, I almost feel guilty about sharing a piece of David with you in this way. But if it feels right to you, and if you have any inclination, you can register to donate. Even if you don’t have it listed on your driver’s license or state ID, you can sign up online at Donatelife.net/register.
There is another way to donate life. Living donations are possible, typically with voluntary kidney transplant donations. This is a much larger decision, one that would require much thought, research, and likely a consultation with a doctor. On another level, you can give a sort of living donation – though it isn’t always included in the category – through blood and plasma donation, if you’re able.
If you are able to register for donation, you may not ever be able to give your gift. There are certain limitations. To become eligible for deceased donation, you typically must have sustained a severe brain injury, such as a stroke, aneurysm, or, as we found, an unusually bad asthma attack. The donor must be truly brain-dead with all brain function lost.
But with such a great need for donations of different types, it helps to be prepared, should the worst happen. Your gift could save many, and that in itself will be a gift to your loved ones.