Howard Charles 'Chuck' Dempsey

On Oct. 23, 2020, at 3:53 p.m. my world stopped. I lost the love of my life, my knight in shining armor, my protector, my everything. What a love story we have. Chuck is in heaven with his hand outstretched, saying, “Come on honey, I will help you up.”

Our love story started later in life. I loved to walk in the rain or just walk anytime after a day at work to clear my thoughts. Chuck and I were single and neighbors. We would chat and go our separate ways. He grew roses and I loved flowers, so we had something in common. He would bring me roses in a vase, and of course, I was delighted and always told him thank you.

Time marched on. Chuck loved harmonizers. He invited me to join him at the senior center for a night of harmonizers and a spaghetti dinner. We both enjoyed ourselves and had a great conversation on our way to our homes. I continued my life and he his. One night it was raining, and true to form I went walking. I heard a car pull up and someone say, “What are you doing?” I said, “Walking in the rain.” He said, “Do you like to do that?” and I said, “Yes, do you want to join me?” and that was the first of many walks together.

Our next date was dancing at the Eagles. Wow — we had so much fun! At that time the Eagles had fish dinners on Friday nights, followed by dancing. We went again on Saturday night and again on Wednesday night. We were so compatible! I said I think we are in tune, sometimes saying the same thing at the same time, with a “Jinx you owe me a Coke!”

One day when I came home from work, Chuck was on his knee by my bedroom window. When I asked him what are you doing, he replied, “I'm planting you a climbing yellow rose so when you open your windows in the morning you can smell it.” Wow!

What a courtship. He always saw that I had fresh florist flowers with a love note where I worked. My co-workers so looked forward to delivery day. Our love was blossoming. And then, on Valentine's day, he appeared at my workplace, took me by the hand and said, “Come sit with me.” The local harmonizers came in to sing to me. Wow!

Time marched on until one day, he gently took my shoulders and looked me in the eye and said, “No one will ever love you like I can.”

Well — years later, we laughed about that and he would say, that's what hooked you.

Our love story continued and we had our home built. He told me your working days are over, take care of our home and I will provide the money. Wow! Our home was built on a lot with no landscaping and by now I had found out I had a renowned stonemason for my life partner. Landscaping was put into place. Winter came and Chuck designed our yard. He was so brilliant. In spring it was complete. Five years later and long nights after work, everyone that comes in is in awe of what we call “God's Garden.” We would spend all of our time perfecting it and when Chuck retired, we hit every nursery looking for beautiful and especially unusual flowers.

We were so happy and so in love. He loved home cooking and told anyone who listened what a wonderful cook I was and how I could make anything he wanted.

Years marched on and we walked, worked in the yard, ate and were so happy; never a cross word, never an argument, always talking things over.

Chuck started his decline about a year ago. We attributed it to old age and still joked about no parts store to shop at, so we had better take care of the ones we got. On Aug. 1, our nightmare began. The next day, Aug. 2, was to change our life. Chuck’s 89th birthday. The man I always made birthday cakes for as special gifts and always took out to a fancy restaurant would not reach 90. We were always alone and now I was on my way to being without my love of my life. Oh, how I tried to keep him. Botched unnecessary surgery, complications, a wrong diagnosis and Chuck was home or in home-hospice.

We always said God knew what he was doing when he planted us here in our home. Our neighbors became good friends and then we were Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa. Our family became immense. I was no longer alone, but no one could replace my best friend.

As time passed, the decline was continuing quickly. I was the only caretaker and then his estranged children appeared. What a nightmare. I had an open-door policy, but after Chuck's declining health I had to limit visits and time. I have been called names, harassed and abused mentally, but still held strong. I still had an open door policy, and obeyed the hospice rules. What a nightmare. Me, a one-woman show, and trying to keep our home and yard up. My health declined; our Lord God kept my strength. By then, I was surviving on two to three hours of broken sleep at night and worrying all day, and I was being drilled by hospice two to two and a half hours a day, keeping track of every second of Chuck's life in a journal for hospice and monitoring changes of medicine.

His granddaughter, Mindy, showed up and said I will help you. My oldest son, Gene, is also terminal but came to help, and after one full day and night he collapsed the next day and could no longer help, saying, “Mom, if you need me I'll come.” (He lives one hour away.) The rest of my family were being plagued by cancer, but were always on the phone giving support and not calling because of Chuck’s fragile condition — by then he was sleeping most of the time. It's too bad his estranged children couldn't see that. The final three days were a nightmare; me begging for help from Hospice only to be told repeatedly to put Chuck in the Hospice house and that because I chose not to, he was my total responsibility for everything. They only did meds. What!? I begged them to come bathe him because he was sweating profusely, only to be told no. They finally, on Friday the 23rd, said they would. Chuck went to heaven and the Lord bathed him. Thank you Jesus.

Chuck is survived by me, Dorothy; son, Curt, and his wife, Dawn; one grandson, Ty, and, wife, Jasmine, Oliver and Jack; one granddaughter, Mindy; one step-son Gene; one step-grandson, Christopher Lee and family whose baby, Asher, is a bone marrow cancer victim and our adopted family, of which I will only mention a few because you all know who you are: John Corcoran, Tony Rod and crew, Parker Toyota, Dick and Cherline, Dawn and Eddy, Julie Lowe and family and Alex Howe. You have been on our journey and Chuck and I thank you. I recently found out that Chuck has asked each of you to take care of me. Even in death he was taking care of me.

I have been writing this in the middle of the night when it's quiet the way Chuck and I always loved. Our home was where we wanted to be. Our final wishes were home, black bag, mortuary, crematory — no mollifications, no obituary, no pictures. I fulfilled all of his wishes until a betrayal by his estranged family that knew his wishes. Sorry honey. Forgive me. I love you. Keep your hand outstretched. I can hardly wait to join you.

As Chuck would say, “Good night honey I love you. See you in the morning. Don't forget to pray for baby Asher.”